


The New Kid

by VoidWolfinGale



Category: Free!
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Behavior, Stalker!Rin, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-05-24 02:52:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6138847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidWolfinGale/pseuds/VoidWolfinGale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru is being watched, he knows it. There's someone in the shadows that won't leave him alone and only keeps getting closer. There is too much wicked desire in the air for him to comprehend it. And what about the new transfer student that keeps making him feel strange things? The redhaired boy is closer than it looks. You better lock your door tonight, Haru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shark boy

**Author's Note:**

> The characters in the story may be a little bit ooc, but i've been trying my best to keep them as close to canon as possible. English is not my natural language and Im not used to writing fanfiction, so I think there might be grammar or plot mistakes. I think that my way of writing is annoying and overly descriptive, making it a boring or annoying thing to read. Like really, im really insecure about it, so please, if you have any tips or complains or reviews, I would love to hear it, anything that comes to your mind would be helpful. Thanks for the atention, enjoy the read! (Ps: Im sooooo sorry for the lame summary and chapter's names, I really suck at it.)

A new student.

Wow, boring…

Really, it’s not like Haru was expecting any exciting adventure today, but a new plain student was nothing much. Everyone in class was making a fuss about it even before the kid stepped into the room and Haru just couldn’t understand. What’s so interesting about another student anyway? The classroom was already full of them. His classmates were all the same in his eyes. Just kids who didn’t understand the beauty of water.

Yeah, water was much better. Who needed to meet new classmates when you could daydream about swimming at the end of the day? Even Makoto, Haru’s best friend, was excited about the new student, but he knew Haru didn’t give two shits about it, so he decided to talk with the other classmates about it.

Unlike Haru, Makoto was quite popular. He had a warm and friendly personality, very approachable really, so he didn’t have trouble talking with everyone in their class, their year, their school… Haru, on the other hand, was the cold and stoic friend who preferred to let Makoto do the talking for him. It was a good partnership, you see.

Haru didn’t hide his obsession with water, he was not ashamed of it, so he didn’t bother pretending to pay attention in class, preferring instead to look at the pool through the classroom window. This earned him a few calls from the teacher, yes, but he didn’t care. The teachers eventually gave up. All of them. It was hopeless.

When the new kid entered the classroom, Haru was dreaming about jumping in the water. When the kid said his name, Haru dreamed about diving to the bottom of the pool. When the teacher told the kid to grab a sit, Haru dreamed about ripping the water’s surface with gentle determined strokes. When the kid chose to sit behind Haru, Haru dreamed about getting home and submerging in his bathtub. When the new kid greeted Haru and offered his hand to shake, Haru dreamed about being hours in the bath until his fingers wrinkled.

“Haru!” Makoto whisper-shouted his name from his spot beside Haru. The latter looked at him and saw Makoto pointing to the boy sitting behind Haru. Said boy was awkwardly holding his hand in the air, looking at Haru in hopes that the blue eyed boy would finally acknowledge his presence.

“Oh.” Was all Haru said. He didn’t make a move to shake the boy’s hand and just continued to stare at his face. “Hi.”

The boy gave up on the hand shake and scratched his ear with his hand instead, embarrassed from the awkwardness of it all. Haru noticed that the boy had red hair and eyes, handsome indeed. His teeth were also weirdly pointy, but Haru thought it fit him well.

“You look like a shark.” Okay, maybe Haru had said it louder than necessary. The whole class went silent with his comment, but Haru didn’t seem to notice. Everyone had their eyes glued at the scene, the tension in the air was palpable. Well, not for Haru, dense as always.

What happened next was kind of unexpected though. Everyone expected the new kid to be angry or at least embarrassed and intimidated, but the red haired just started to laugh. He laughed loud enough for the whole class to hear, like he had just heard the most amazing joke of his life. When the laughing subsided he looked at Haru again with teary eyes, an unknown emotion present in them.

“The name is Rin. Nice to meet you.” Rin said, looking at Haru and smiling cheekily. _This kid is indeed interesting_ , he thought.

The class went back to normal after a while, the previous occurrence forgotten, but for some reason Haru just couldn’t shake it off. The new kid was way too weird. Oh well, it’s not like he himself was the most normal person out there anyways. Haru resumed his staring out the window and thoughts about water.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

When class was over, Haru was ready to eat mackerel with his friends on the rooftop. It had always been like this, it’s called ‘routine’ or something like that. What he didn’t expect though was Makoto and his big friendly mouth.

“Hey, Rin! Would you like to lunch with us?” Haru gave Makoto an alarmed look – it looked just like his normal plain expression for everyone around, but he knew Makoto would understand.

“Yeah, of course. Cool.” Rin looked at Haru. “I mean, if that’s okay with you. If I’m being a bother then…”

“Yes, you a-”

“Of course not, Rin. It would be our pleasure.” Makoto cut in before Haru could show the whole dept of his rudeness. He fixated Haru with a pointed reprimanding look – not so reprimanding, he could never get mad at Haru after all.

They met with Rei and Nagisa and together they went to the rooftop, sitting in a circle on the ground. Haru was situated between Makoto and Rin.

It did bother Haru that the routine was changing, he was not a big fan of changes really. He liked routine, and Rin wasn’t part of it unfortunately. Well, he decided to just ignore the boy for now, he doubted he would remain in their little group of friends anyway. He just came along because he didn’t know anyone else and Makoto was too friendly, but soon he would find his own friends and leave Haru’s alone.

He tried to ignore the boy, he really tried, but it seemed like Rin was always including him in the conversation. He asked his opinion, if something similar happened to him, personal things about his life…  Everybody knew Haru wasn’t one to talk and everyone in the circle was just waiting for the time when Haru would finally snap.

“Australia was cool. I would like to visit some other places though, travel around. Do you have any place in the world you would like to go, Haru?”

“No.”

“Well, I think you would love Brazil. They have beaches where you can swim all you want and the weather seems really nice too.” Nagisa, Rei and Makoto were changing worried glances by now. Haru looked annoyed but Rin just wouldn’t leave him alone. They thought maybe the new kid was just trying to please the one person who seemed that didn’t want him there so he could fully be accepted in their group. Rin was definitely doing it wrong though.

“I’m done eating.” Haru said and started to get up.

“What? But there’s still half of your lunch. Won’t you fin-“ Rin noticed, looking at Haru’s bento.

“No, I won’t.” Haru said rather harshly. “You are annoying.” He completed.

Makoto choked on his lunch, Rei widened his eyes surprised and Nagisa’s mouth was open, practically touching the floor. Everyone looked at Rin to see his reaction, even Haru was curious to see if the kid got the message.

“I… I didn’t…”Rin stuttered, looking at Haru not knowing what to do. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you, you were just so quiet, I thought maybe you wanted to participate… It was wrong of me, I’m sorry.” He finished, staring at the ground and sounding apologetic.

“It’s okay, Rin. Haru is like that, he doesn’t talk much, you just didn’t know. We just leave him be.” Makoto answered, a gentle smile plastered on his face. “Haru, what you said was not very nice. You should apologize.” Makoto scolded Haru in his mother hen voice.

For a while everyone was quiet. Haru kept staring at Rin and everyone was waiting for his next movement. It seemed like the scene froze in time.

“I’m sorry.” Haru said in his monotone voice, his blue eyes looking directly at Rin. Makoto breathed a sigh of relief, Rei nodded pleased and Nagisa clapped his hands excitedly. Haru kind of agreed that he was a bit rude, he could have been more subtle in putting Rin in his place. But then again, Haru was never subtle.

Rin just stared at Haru. He was speechless for a moment. Eyes open wide, looking at Haru in a weird way, the unknown emotion back in his eyes. His mouth was slightly open like he had lost the ability to speak and his cheeks were slightly red. He seemed to get out of this trance fast though, coughing to hide his embarrassment. He accepted Haru’s apologies and the lunch went on smoothly after that.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

When school was over for the day, Makoto was already at Haru’s desk. They always went home together after school, the perks of best friends living close by, but in this special day there was a change in plans.

“Haru! Hey, so… I’m really sorry, I can’t go back with you today.” Makoto started, scratching his neck and sounding apologetic. “I have to pick up the twins at their school today, mom won’t be able to. But if you wait for me we can head back to-“

“No need to. I will go back alone.” Haru said, unfazed. It upset Makoto a little to think that Haru didn’t need his company as much as he liked to believe.

Haru started to get up. He did enjoy Makoto’s presence on the way back, always talking about random things and keeping the mood light, but he could survive one day without his best friend. He would use his walking time alone to think about important things anyway. Like water. And swimming. And baths.

“Oh, maybe I could go with you!” Both boys turned their heads in the direction of the red haired male. Rin was quick to elaborate. “I mean, I’m kind of new here and I would like to know the places around, I would be really grateful if you could show me.”

“No, than-“

“Yes, that would be perfect!” Makoto cut in. He didn’t like the idea of the blue eyed boy walking on his own. He was too distracted, he needed to be taken care of at all times, especially if water was involved. “Haru, go back with Rin today. You can take this opportunity to get to know him a little better, see if you can become buddies.”

_Buddies? What the heck? Don’t embarrass yourself, Makoto._ Haru thought. He looked at Rin and noticed that the guy was a little too excited about the idea.

Well, maybe he was being rude. Really rude. And mean. Some would say it was bordering bullying. The new kid was just trying to make friends, fit in, and Haru was being a pain in the ass. Rin just wanted to get closer to their group and Haru’s selfishness was making that hard. Maybe he should go easy on the boy, he did look like a nice guy. A hot one too.

_Wait, what? Where did that come from?_ Haru thought, alarmed. Since when did he have these thoughts about guys? About humans in general? It was just a one time thing, so he just decided to ignore.

“Fine.” He finally said, finding kind of amusing the way Rin’s smile spread even wider and Makoto breathed a sigh of relief.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

After saying their goodbyes to their friends – Rin did, Haru mostly just nodded, maybe not even that – they started walking. They were side by side in a comfortable silence and steady pace.

“Won’t you be late if you walk me home?” Haru even surprised himself that he was the one to break the silence this time. “Your house is not in this direction, is it?”

“It is, in fact.” Rin answered, smiling widely for being able to hear Haru initiating a conversation. “We must live close by, so really, it’s not a problem going home together. We could do this every day by me.”

“No, thanks.” Haru said, not even harshly, it was just his blunt personality, Rin would have to get used to it at some point. The red haired just gave a soft laugh.

“You know… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable back then…” Rin started shyly, choosing his words carefully. “I mean, I understand. Some new kid just randomly appears and starts to talk with your friends and meddle in your business, it’s kind of annoying, but I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to get closer to you, know you better.”

Okay, now ‘that’ made Haru feel a whole new level of guiltiness. He was definitely a jerk back then. The boy was indeed just trying to fit in and Haru was playing the perfect asshole bully role.

“I’m… Sorry.” Haru said. The apology sounding foreign in his mouth, like he was not used to it at all. “I just don’t talk much, not your fault.”

“Soooo… That means we can be friends?” Rin carefully asked. Haru just nodded. “Yeah! Cool.” Rin said, trying unsuccessfully to hide the blush in his cheeks. _This guy is really easy to mess with_ , Haru thought.

Actually, Haru didn’t want to admit it, but he was glad for the company. It had nothing to do with making new friends, more like a safety measure. Lately, Haru had been feeling he was being observed. Like there was someone in the shadows watching his every movement. He may be a little bit dense, but the staring was so strong that it was almost like a material presence. It was so intense he could literally feel it: the shivers, the tingle on his skin, the knot in his stomach.

He started feeling like this mostly when he was in public, in a big crowd, so he just brushed it off as social anxiety or something like that. It became more frequent though, getting to the point where he would lock the whole house and windows to make sure he was alone. And, you see, for Haru to remember to use the locks in his house it was definitely a big deal.

When they got to the stairs that led to Haru’s home, he turned to face Rin.

“Well, that’s it. Goodbye.” He said simply and started to turn around, only to be stopped by a sudden hand in his shoulder. He repressed a flinch at the contact and stared at Rin.

“Haru…” That damn emotion was present in his red eyes again. God, how Haru hated those things he didn’t understand. The hand on his shoulder was squeezing slightly, like it didn’t want to let go, and it was spreading a strange warmth through Haru’s body. It was… Foreign. Not entirely unpleasant. “Take  care.” Rin completed, hesitantly taking his hand off of Haru.

Haru’s heart was speeding really fast right now, and he didn’t even do any exercises. It looked like the place where Rin touched was tingly, warm and itchy, all at the same time. He was being so overly conscious about their skins touching, it was totally not like him. The warmth was spreading through his body and it seemed to be concentrating on his cheeks at the moment.

_Wait! Am I blushing? Seriously? Since when do I know how to do that?_  Haru was surprising even himself with the weird responses of his body. He didn’t understand any of them. He didn’t want it. Oh God, he was starting to get agitated.

In a sudden movement, Haru ran away from Rin and started going up the stairs in a desperate effort to get away from thickness of the air around them. He took two steps at a time and was inside his house in no time, leaning against the closed door and holding his hand to his chest in an effort to calm his frenetic heart. Maybe he was sick? He had a fever or something, it was the only explanation for his uncharacteristic behavior, right? Well, he probably was just lacking water, nothing that a few good hours in the bathtub wouldn’t solve.

Rin remained frozen in his spot for a few seconds after Haru took off, a gentle loving smile plastered on his face. Then he gave a soft laugh and started to go down the way they had just came from. _Oh well, looks like my house is not in this direction after all._


	2. Lock your door, boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hush, hush, hush, here comes the boogey man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, i planned for it to be so much darker and intense in my head (And I will get there, I promise) but i feel like its taking so long to happen some action, this was supposed to be a creepier event than it actually was. But, oh well, you draw your own conclusions about this chapter. Please enjoy o/

The days passed by quickly and Haru found himself falling into routine again. It had become surprisingly easy to be around Rin and he didn’t feel like it was a strange occurrence anymore. The news of the new transfer student cooled down and people stopped talking about it, the class returning to its usual monotony that Haru adored.

He found out that Rin was a surprisingly nice guy. Once Rin calmed down and stopped trying to capture Haru’s attention at any cost, probably because he had already settled down in school and found a group to hang out with –Haru’s group, but oh well –, he became someone quite pleasant to be around. Everyone found him really outgoing and fun, he had no problem becoming buddies with people around him. Haru couldn’t help finding him interesting.

He still tried to talk to Haru a lot, despite the lack of satisfactory response. Most people who tried to get closer to Haru gave up after some time, they usually got bored or annoyed with his attitude, thinking that he was disregarding them, when actually it was just his personality. The ones close enough to Haru –read Makoto, Nagisa and Rei –knew that and didn’t get offended, they accepted him for who he was, that’s why they managed to stay together for so long.

Rin though didn’t seem discouraged or uncomfortable with Haru’s behavior. On the contrary, he seemed to think it was quite funny and only stuck with him more. Haru decided to give the boy a chance, since the boy so kindly seemed to accept his true self. He noticed that the boy talked a lot, including him in the conversation often, like Makoto always did. He didn’t really care to participate in the chat, but he admitted it was thoughtful of Rin’s part, most people just forgot he was there.

But this wasn’t the reason why he found Rin interesting. Actually, even Haru didn’t know exactly what he found interesting about the boy. Something about him was ablaze, those deep crimson eyes, so full of life and passion, so fiery that it consumed everything around and at times Haru would find himself incapable of looking away. He noticed that everything seemed alight when the boy was present, his presence was undeniable, too strong to ignore. The times when he talked with Haru, it didn’t matter the subject, Haru would find himself entranced by the topic.

He wasn’t sure he liked it. You know, it was breaking ‘routine’. But he definitely didn’t hate it. He found himself eager to meet the boy everyday, to experience the different reactions he could elicit from him. He was addicted to the feeling of being anxious around the redhead. The tingle in his skin when those ruby eyes laid on him, the heavy breathing and burning sensation, they were his nicotine.

Of course, he knew better than to show it externally. He only kept these thoughts to himself –actually, he often denied even to himself –and was doing a pretty good job at maintaining his collected attitude. Not even Makoto, the one who knows Haru the best in the world, realized what was going on inside his head.

“Well, don’t blame me for your superhero being useless!” Nagisa’s high pitched voice interrupted his musings, bringing Haru back to reality and to the debate happening with his friends during lunch. “Everyone knows her only super power is knowing how to fight. Everyone can learn how to fight, it’s not a big deal. Totally replaceable.” Nagisa said, matter-of-factly, earning an indignant gasp from Rei.

“Hey! Don’t talk about Black Widow like that! She is the most beautiful heroine on Avengers!” He defended.

“Actually, I think she is the only heroine on Avengers, no?...” Rin added, trying to remember all the characters. “Well, it doesn’t matter, she will never be Iron Man, no one will, he is the best.”

“Well, I personally think that they would go nowhere without Captain America’s leadership. He is the voice of reason, the guider. Without him, I’m not sure they could work in group at all…” Makoto added, backing up his childhood hero.

“Yeah, maybe, but he is not the one paying for the Stark Tower, is he?” Rin stated, grinning smugly. “Guys, there are dozens of superheroes out there, but only one is a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.”

“Bullshit.” They all went silent and looked at Haru, surprised at his sudden comment on their conversation. The latter just continued to eat his mackerel, like he had only stated a common fact.

“Excuse me?” Nagisa questioned.

“Everyone knows they would all be dead if it wasn’t for Hulk.” Haru shrugged. “Can you imagine any of your heroes winning in a hand to hand combat against a pissed off Hulk?” He asked and his question was met with silence. He could almost hear the gears turning inside his comrade’s heads, trying to imagine the situation. Haru’s lips curved slightly in a victorious smirk.

“Mou, Haru-chan, you didn’t have to be so harsh…” Nagisa pouted indignantly, accepting defeat just like everyone in the circle.

“Damn. He did kick Tony’s ass once actually…” Rin mused, contemplative.

“He’s not the most beautiful, though…” Rei muttered quietly to himself before they all dropped the subject and went to another topic.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

“God, this is fun. I feel like we are the Power Puff Girls.” Rin exclaimed excited to be going home with Makoto and Haru after school. Since Rin came, they always went home together, the three of them. “I’m Blossom, by the way. You know, red hair and all…”

“Wait, does that make me Buttercup or Bubbles?” A confused Makoto decided to join the thought. Haru just looked at them like they were weirdos.

“About that, you’re like Buttercup but with Bubbles personality. Because you have green eyes and stuff. Fun fact is, Haru is practically Bubbles with a Buttercup personality, how cool is that?” Rin was now laughing aloud, pleased with his observations. Makoto couldn’t help but chuckle along.

“Hear that, Haru? You are Bubbles, aren’t you happy?” Makoto nudged Haru.

“Not really.”

“But actually, you get along too well. Buttercup and Bubbles never had that kind of relationship. They are fighting all the times, personalities too different I guess.” Rin reminded. Haru was kind of impressed with his knowledge of Power Puff Girls. He was indeed a weird person.

“Well, maybe it’s because Haru doesn’t have Buttercup’s personality exactly. I mean, he may not be all smiles, but he doesn’t get angry too often or yell at people. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever saw Haru yelling.” Makoto was now crestfallen to have realized he didn’t know all the sides of Haru, even though he was the closest to him.

“Really? He never forgot to pay the water bill or ran out of mackerel?” Rin teased, a smug smirk plastered on his lips.

Haru normally would have ignored the teasing or maybe gotten slightly annoyed at the remark if it was anyone else, but in this situation he couldn’t help but grin faintly at his antics. The grin was gone in a second, but it was enough for Rin to have noticed it, and it caused him to laugh, pleased that he managed to amuse Haru.

Haru found himself enjoying the company more and more, and he actually liked the times when the three of them would go home together. He felt safe, welcomed and entertained.

‘Safe’ especially was something he was starting to pay more attention to. He noticed that the feeling of being observed started appearing more rarely and now it was practically gone. He didn’t feel the shivers and the knot on his stomach, he didn’t get self conscious or paranoid anymore. He had been able to calm down because it had been weeks since the last time he felt insecure like that. Walking side by side with Makoto and Rin only served to maximize the feeling of safety and he couldn’t be more relaxed.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------

 

That night Haru was taking longer to fall asleep. There were more thoughts than usual going through his head and that resulted in him lying in bed, completely motionless, unable to close his eyes and without an ounce of sleepiness. He was just too awake to close his eyelids, but too lazy to get up and do something about it, so he decided to just lay in bed and muse on the things keeping him awake.

In one hand, there was the warm pleasant feeling when he was with Rin. A feeling he had experienced only with water before, and that was odd, considering Rin was the complete opposite of water in his eyes. Water was calm and peaceful, always ease to decipher, a real safe please to rest and trust. And Rin was just red and loud and amusing and clingy and everything water was not. So why did he feel so good with him? He felt like he could trust the boy, which was also weird, because he barely trusted Nagisa.

Thinking about Nagisa led Haru to another train of thought and he just started meditating about every random thing after that. It started with Rin and when he realized, he was debating whether pineapple was really deserving of mixing with mackerel. He felt like pineapple was just using the mackerel tastiness for self glorification. The mackerel was responsible for the incredible flavor of the food, the pineapple was just an assistant, and yet people acted like it was super important. Maybe he should stop eating pineapple with his mackerel for some time, just to put it back in its place.

_*Creak*_

Haru stopped all of his late night reflections and focused all of his attention on the noise he just heard downstairs. It was like the creaking of a floorboard or a door moving. Usually he wouldn’t have paid much attention to it. Old houses make noises all the time, it was no big deal, but he was still a little affected and paranoid by the stalker thing going on before. He couldn’t help but be cautious about everything he saw or heard.

He had heard stories before about how robbers would plan an attack carefully, going as far as observing and taking notes of a person’s routine for months before breaking into their houses. Well, if that was what was happening, then the robbers seemed quite dumb, because honestly, they could have waited until Haru was out of the house. He was an antisocial high school student, his agenda was not exactly the most difficult thing to memorize.

_Unless… They are planning to kill me!._ Okay, now that thought freaked Haru out a little bit. It made sense. They were just observing him to make sure no one would miss him when he died, which was true, considering his parents were God knows where and Makoto could do nothing, he was still a teenager after all. They planned to murder him and now they were putting the plan in action.

He heard creaking noises again and gasped. He put his hands over his mouth to prevent making anymore noises. Not that it would stop armed people from finding him and murdering him, but he still didn’t want to reveal his location so soon.

He heard steps next. They started downstairs but got louder, like the person was going up to the floor his bedroom was. He was sure he was not hallucinating now, this was real, this was happening.

His heart was beating so loudly and fiercely it was literally hurting his ribcage. He could feel himself sweating, his palms starting to get clammy, but he was cold and shivering. The color had left his face, his skin was white and he was clearly in complete panic. His eyes were immensely wide and his pupils were dilated, he was shaking too much and he couldn’t stop himself, or care about it at the moment, really.

With his hands pressed strongly over his mouth, he listened as the footsteps got closer. It seemed to be only one person, but it would still be useless if this person was armed. His only hope was to remain quiet and hope the person would just leave him alone.

He watched frightened as the steps stopped just outside his bedroom door. He could see the shadow of someone else’s shoes from the crack under the door and it was enough for him to let out a small but audible whimper from fear.

When he realized what he had done, Haru covered his mouth even more strongly, holding his jaw with bruising force. His eyes opened even wider and he was sure he would be dead. The person on the other side of the door had heard him, it was loud enough, there was no doubt he was discovered.

The shadow quickly disappeared, the unknown person started running back to the stairs and out of the house immediately, the steps echoing loudly as the person fled. Haru just remained there, flabbergasted, eyeing the previously menacing door. He expected the person to barge in and gut him merciless, but they just took off when they heard Haru was awake.

The most scaring thing was: the person knew exactly where to go. Whoever it was, that person walked in his house like they already knew every room inside. The steps did not hesitate for one second and went directly to Haru’s room, not stopping anywhere to check the location and then ran away like it already knew its way around the place.

Haru shivered at this. Someone had been inside his house. Without his permission. God knows how many times already. The place he slept, ate, bathed and trusted. The place where he was supposed to be safe.

Once the panic decreased, he could feel his senses coming back to him. His muscles ached from being so tense just a few moments ago, his jaw was hurting too, along with his chest. He was having trouble breathing properly, like there was some weigh pressuring his lungs. Then, he felt something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

The familiar knot on his throat, accompanied by the sting in his eyes and when he realized, hot fat tears were already streaming down his face, uncontrollable. He didn’t even tried to stop himself from crying, just embraced his emotions and curled himself into a ball in the bed, pulling the sheets over him for a false sense of safety. He was scared to leave the bed and didn’t trust his legs to support him, so he just cried helplessly, laid down and scared.

The silent tears turned to weeping and in no time he was sobbing and whimpering like a child. He continued to pour out his feelings until he had no more tears left to shed, then he just laid there, exhausted.

Sleep came naturally after that. Probably because he was so tired and overwhelmed his mind just decided to shut itself down. He had never felt so vulnerable in his whole life. All the safety he had been feeling some time ago just disappeared in one night and all he could do was pathetically cry himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, do u think im too much of a drama queen? I dont know, no one ever broke into my house, but Haru isnt one to get easily distressed, is he? Im a psychology student but im so lame with emotions... Well, leave your reviews and advices, i would love to hear ur ideas o/


	3. Saint Makoto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chaaap! Funny fact: I wrote this chapter like a month ago or so, but I only had time to post it now. Blame it on college. But anyway, Im sorry for being such a lazy awful person, oh god, please dont hate me, i just love to procrastinate so much.

During the weekend Haru’s only thoughts were a debate on whether to stay at home or out of it. His house had always been a safe place, and if he was being stalked by a possible psychotic killer –which he was –it would be the first place he would go to, but now he was not so sure he was safe in there. After a break in anyone would feel like that about their own home.

The thing was, he was dealing with a stalker, so if he wasn’t safe at home, then the streets would be no better. Of course, he could use the crowd to his advantage, but so could the stalker to blend in and become even creepier.

He could always go to Makoto’s house, but he didn’t want to bother his best friend with his problems. Makoto lived with his family and the last thing Haru would want is to pull someone’s family into this mess. Besides, he never liked to discuss his problems, he preferred to ignore it until they disappeared and this was no different. He didn’t need Makoto’s worrying, he didn’t want anyone’s help. He was fine on his own. He always has been.

In the end, he decided to just stay locked up in his bedroom or bathroom, occasionally going downstairs for something to eat. Other than that, he hadn’t dared to even look through the window in fear.

When Monday came and he was finally forced out of the house due to school –and Makoto –he couldn’t have been more anxious.

Makoto’s usual chatter was just background noise, because his mind was too agitated to focus on anything. He kept looking over his shoulders and staring at everyone that passed by like they were a threat.

Haru was tense the whole walk to school and when they finally approached the gate, he breathed a sigh of relief. Before they could enter though, Makoto grabbed Haru’s arm and dragged him to the side of the school building, away from everyone’s eyes.

“Okay, Haru. What’s up?” Makoto asked very directly. Haru just blinked at him in silence for a few seconds.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, Haru. You are bothered with something, you have been tense ever since I saw you this morning. I’m your best friend, did you really think you could hide anything from me?”

Haru didn’t know what to say. He didn’t exactly try to hide anything from Makoto, but he wasn’t planning on telling him either. He should’ve known Makoto could see right through him, it wasn’t a surprise really.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He answered flatly.

“God, Haru, stop it! I know there’s something bothering you, don’t push me away. I won’t forget about it, so just talk to me, please.”

Haru could see the worrying in his best friend’s eyes. He couldn’t blame Makoto for caring for him, he had always done that. He was his best friend, he deserved the truth at least.

“I… Don’t want to bother you with my problems…” Haru stared at the ground, the topic was complicated.

Makoto’s worried face turned into a gentle one, his kind reassuring smile present. He placed his hand on Haru’s shoulder to encourage him and looked at him softly.

“Haru, you are my best friend. There’s no way your problems would ever annoy me. I just want you to trust me, I don’t want to see you troubled…” He gazed at Haru, concern in his face once again. “I’m here for you, Haru. For anything you ever need, even the dumbest things, so please, let me help you. Nothing would make me happier than being there for you when you need it.”

God, wasn’t Makoto the purest creature on Earth!? _What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?,_ Haru thought. Now he felt kind of guilty. It was not that he didn’t trust Makoto, it was just that he wasn’t used to relying on others for help, he always underestimated his problems anyway.

“I’m sorry…” He said sheepishly. “Just promise you won’t freak out, okay?” Makoto nodded in understanding, encouraging him to continue. “Someone broke into my house.”

Makoto’s eyes grew wide like saucers and his expression went from reassuring to shocked in a second. It was understandable really, when he asked Haru to share his worries he never thought it was something so dangerous like that, he was caught off guard. He was about to yell at the news, ask for explanation or an indication that it was a joke, but he saw the alarmed look in Haru’s eyes. The blue eyed boy was fearing his reaction from the beginning and getting so worked up wouldn’t solve anything, so he forced himself to calm down.

Makoto took a few deep breaths to control his voice and initial shock before continuing.

“Care to elaborate?” Was all he could muster at the moment, looking at Haru uneasily.

In the background they heard the sound of the bell inside the school going off and knew they were late for class. In a silent agreement, both of them knew already that they would have to skip first period after the disturbing news, there was no way Makoto would be able to study now.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

               

“Wow…”

“Makoto, you’ve been repeating that for the past 30 minutes.”

They were both sitting in front of the locked locker room, gazing at the pool. Haru would be swimming by now, if not for the fact that their teachers could see them in the pool from the classroom window and they didn’t want to get in trouble for skipping class. They opted to sit side by side in the shadow of the locker room building, hidden from the classroom’s view.

The pool was clean and nice, in perfect condition since they reformed it for the Iwatobi Swim Club’s use, but the weather was no good. It was really cold this time of the year and the pool didn’t have a heater, so they were prohibited to use it until further notice. Of course, this didn’t stop Haru from sneaking in from time to time.

After Haru told Makoto about the break in incident, he spent the whole time only saying ‘Wow’ and asking if Haru was okay. Really, he asked if Haru was okay so much that Haru considered recording his voice saying ‘I’m fine’ to play on repeat.

“This is not good” Makoto said suddenly, a hint of determination in his voice and a decision on his mind. “You will move in with me, Haru. After school today, pack your things, you’re coming to live with me. You can sleep with me in my bedroom, or I could sleep on the cou-“

“Forget it, Makoto” Haru cut him off. “This is no reason to get all desperate. It happened only once, I don’t need to change my whole life because of it. I’m fine, am not I?” And it was true after all, it happened just once, it wasn’t enough of a reason to go crazy about it. Of course, Haru might have omitted the fact about the stalker who showed a creepy persistent behavior, but there was no way he could tell Makoto about it, the green eyed boy would have a heart attack.

“But Haru, what if-“

“Makoto, no.” Makoto looked at him pleadingly. “I’m fine, I told you. I have lived by myself for half of my life, I want to keep it that way. Plus, think about your own family. You don’t want to drag them into this mess, right? What if they are in danger because of it?”

It was a low blow, Haru knew it. The surprise in Makoto’s eyes told him that he had hit a soft spot, but he knew his best friend, it was the only way he could convince him to let go of the matter. Makoto’s face turned thoughtful until he finally gave in.

“Okay. I will not force you to live with me.” Haru sighed in relief at his little victory. “BUT…” Oh shit, he should’ve seen that one coming. “I will move in with you.”

Haru stared at Makoto like he had just grown two heads while the taller boy smirked smugly at him, proud of his decision. Makoto laughed at Haru’s surprise.

“Haha, relax, Haru. I will not move in permanently, of course. Let me just sleep over at your house for a couple of days, until I’m sure they won’t come back. I can stay in the couch, I don’t mind.” Makoto smiled at him kindly.

Haru continued to stare at him. It was the best deal he would be able to come up with, really, Makoto wouldn’t just leave this matter alone. He gave a short nod in approval of the idea, pleasing Makoto.

“There they are!!” They heard a high pitched voice screaming and turned to see Nagisa, Rei and Rin on the other side of the gate. They were slightly out of breath, Haru noted, meaning they had probably been looking around for him and Makoto. How long did they spend chatting beside the pool?

Makoto waved at them and they stood, walking towards the gate now that class was over and it was safe again. They joined the rest of their friends and together they made their way to the rooftop to have lunch.

“Why did you two skip class? I thought maybe you had gone sick or Haru was late again, but Rei said he saw you two coming to school. Say, are you two becoming delinquents?” Nagisa hooked onto Makoto’s arm and started blabbering. “Oh god, I knew this would happen one day. I always thought Haru-chan was secretly a punk, but I wasn’t so sure about you, Mako-chan. Did you skip class to get tattoos? Can I see your tattoos? Did it hurt? I bet your tattoo is a dolphin, right, Haru-chan? Or maybe Mackerel? Mou, why didn’t you call me, I wanna become a delinquent too, I already have a playlist for this occasion in my phone, to listen to when I get piercings and tattoos and sound badass. Will you get piercings tomorrow? Can I com-“

“Nagisa. Nagisa! Stop, it’s nothing like that!” Makoto interrupted Nagisa’s train of thought before it got too far. The boy had a too fertile imagination. Makoto laughed at the pout on his lips, having his punk theory denied. “Haru and I have been… Discussing some things…”

Makoto looked at Haru and the latter shock his head discreetly, showing he didn’t want anyone else to know about the break in. Nothing against the rest of them, but Nagisa would make a huge deal out of it, and honestly, just by Makoto’s reaction early, Haru thought maybe he might have been overestimating the whole thing. He didn’t want anyone else to worry, he was safe, he was calmed down already just by venting it out to Makoto.

“Okay, is it about the Swim Club? Because if that’s what you were discussing then we have to solve the problem about the training regimen. Really, how are we supposed to train with this weather? Sooooo annoying…” Nagisa slumped while complaining about the lack of swimming lately.

“Don’t be like that, Nagisa, I’m sure we will be able to train in no time. Makoto-senpai is working on finding us a new location, we just can’t give up.” Rei added, patting Nagisa’s shoulder.

“Oh, you guys are part of the swim team, right? I used to swim back in Australia, I was wondering if I could join the club?” Rin said, excitedly. “Of course, I will go through the tests, just like everyone, and if you think I’m fit to stay in the team then-“

“RIN-CHAN WANTS TO SWIM WITH US?” Nagisa yelled, suddeling cheering up again. He latched onto Rin’s arm and started hugging him fiercily. “Of coooooourse you can join, Rin-chan! Why didn’t you tell us sooner that you are a swimmer? Oh god, you will love it I swear, we have so much fun together! What is your favorite swimming style? Mine is the breaststroke...”

They all continued their walk and lunch time as usual while Nagisa was… Well, being Nagisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short, but I have more written already. Next chapter will have a little bit more of the not-so-anonymous-for-us stalker. But haru doesnt know anything, because he is a pure kind naive soul. Not for long anyway, but whatever.


	4. I see your sins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the stalker part as promised. A little bit more creepy, i think.

Haru had dinner in Makoto’s house and they took the opportunity to pick up some clothes and his toothbrush, things he would need to spend the night at Haru’s. Makoto felt bad about lying to his family, saying he was just having a sleepover at Haru’s for the sake of old times. He didn’t want his family to worry about him and he was sure Haru didn’t want that either.

They spent some time playing video games in Makoto’s house before going off to Haru’s. The walk there was silent, both of them were kind of nervous, wondering if there would be another break in, but the chances were minimal, they knew it was just irrational fear.

“Okay, we’re here. We’re gonna have so much fun tonight, Haru.” He smiled warmly at the blue eyed boy, feeling the need to lighten up the mood.

“No, we won’t. We have school tomorrow.”

“And since when do you care about school?” Makoto commented. “But fine, I guess you’re right. So let’s just go to sleep, it’s late. I’ll take the couch tonight. No need to worry, Haru, nothing is gonna happen to you as long as I’m here” He patted his best friend’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, smiling kindly.

“Okay. I’m going to sleep then.” Haru replied and started going up the stairs towards his bedroom.

“Okay, Haru. Good night!”

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

Haru woke up abruptly in the middle of the night. He didn’t remember what was his dream, but he remembered being afraid, the knot in his stomach still present, and he was covered in sweat.

He took a few deep breaths to calm down, his heart still beating fast from the nightmare, then he tried to fan himself with his hands because he felt like his skin was burning, but it was no use. He decided to go downstairs to drink some water before going back to sleep.

Thinking about it now, he hadn’t been able to do that the nights before. He had been so scared after the incident that he wouldn’t dare to step out of his bedroom at night anymore, but with Makoto’s presence in the house, he felt… Safe. He wasn’t freaking out so much like before. Maybe it was good that his best friend stayed with him that night, otherwise he would get even more paranoid by himself.

Haru was in the kitchen, drinking water, when he heard groans and sounds of stirring coming from the living room. For a moment, when he heard the noise, he was a bit scared, but he decided to check up to see if Makoto was alright anyway.

When he looked to the couch, he found a very disturbed Makoto, undoubtedly having trouble to sleep. The boy was tossing and turning, a frown on his face as he was clearly uncomfortable with the too small couch. The couch was a normal size actually, but Makoto was tall and muscular, so he had trouble finding a cozy position to rest peacefully.

Haru couldn’t help but take pity on the boy. He was going through this because he wanted to protect Haru, and he would probably get a sore back and stiff neck in return for his kindness.

“Makoto.” Haru called, shaking the half-asleep boy’s shoulder slightly. “Hey, Makoto, wake up.”  Green eyes opened wide suddenly, the boy waking up agitated.

“What!? What? Haru, what is it? Is someone in the house!?” He asked, starting to panic.

“Tsk, nothing like that Makoto. I just wanted to ask if you wouldn’t like to sleep in the bedroom. You look like you’re having a shitty sleep in there.” Haru frowned while explaining.

“Oh, it’s about that… God, I was really scared for a moment there.” Makoto put a hand to his chest and tried to control his breathing. “But really, it’s okay, Haru. I wouldn’t make you sleep on the couch on your own house. I’m fine here”

“What’s that supposed to mean? If I were to sleep in your house you said I would sleep in the bedroom, so it’s only fair that I do the same when you’re here.”

“Haha, but that was because I invited you to my house, Haru. I kind of imposed myself on yours, so I’m fine sleeping in any place, you don’t need to worry, just go back to sleep.” Makoto smiled kindly.

“Tsk, how do you expect me to sleep like that? You will get all sore tomorrow.” Haru frowned at his friend’s stubbornness. “If you don’t go to sleep in my bedroom right now I will lay on the floor and sleep here.” He threatened.

“Haru…” Makoto tried, but it was useless, Haru had already made up his mind. “Tsk, fine. I’ll go to your room. But where will you sleep, Haru? This couch will be uncomfortable for you too, I wouldn’t be able to rest knowing you are not well.”

Haru pondered it for a moment. The couch would surely give him an aching body tomorrow.

“We will sleep together on the bed then.” He said bluntly and watched Makoto’s uncertain expression. “It will be fine, the bed is big enough for the both of us. It will be just like when we were kids and would sleep over at each other’s house.”

Makoto thought about it and saw no problem, they indeed used to do that a lot when they were little.

“Okay then.”

They went up the stairs and laid on the bed together, a little too close due to lack of space, but none of them were bothered by it. They stayed like that, in each other’s personal space until both of them felt sleep slowly claiming their eyes again.

Haru was almost going to dreamland when he felt it again. The shivers, the tingle on his skin, the sensation of not being alone, and no, he wasn’t talking about Makoto. He felt eyes on him, on both of them, but it was impossible, right? They were inside the bedroom, no one was there except them, and the windows were locked.

Maybe he was really becoming paranoid. Maybe he was more affected by this situation than he thought. The feeling wasn’t so intense like usual, so he just let it go, thinking that his tired mind was playing tricks on him. With that thought, he was able to drift off peacefully for the first time in a long time.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

“Where is Rin?”

That was the first thing Haru said that morning, when he came into the classroom and noticed a vacant spot on Rin’s usual desk.

“Oh, Rin is absent? That’s weird, maybe he’s sick?” Makoto also stared at the empty desk, wondering.

“Rin-chan didn’t look sick yesterday though.” Nagisa’s voice piped in from behind them.

“Well, maybe we can check out on him after school?” The ever-benevolent Makoto suggested.

“Uuuuh, that’ll be so fun! Yes, let’s do this, let’s pay Rin-chan a visit!” Nagisa clapped excitedly. “Who knows where he lives?”

They all changed expectant glances. They all realized they were in the same boat.

No one knew where Rin lived. No one knew his phone number. In fact, they realized that, despite Rin’s constant outgoing and talkative behavior, there was so much they didn’t know about him. Well, it was not unusual actually. He was relatively new to their group of friends, they would get to know each other more in time.

But Rin wasn’t absent for the whole day though. He arrived at school on the last class before lunch, but he made no move to talk to any of them. He just sat at his desk and paid attention to class like normal.

On lunchtime, at the rooftop, they had a chance to question Rin about his whereabouts.

“Oh, about that… I just woke up late today, my bad.” He answered sheepishly. “I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“Rin-senpai, you should’ve slept earlier yesterday. I can see you still look tired, what were you doing until late at night?” Rei pointed out and, indeed, Rin sported heavy dark circles under his eyes.

“Ah, nothing much… I just, stayed up late watching a movie, that’s all…”

“Well, don’t do that anymore. It’s not good if you push yourself too much, Rin…” Makoto added gently and they dropped the subject.

They continued to eat normally, until Nagisa abruptly broke the silence.

“RIN-CHAN!!!” Everyone turned to look at the blonde to see him watching Rin with a horrified and surprised expression. They turned to see what Nagisa was staring at and couldn’t hide their astonishment.

“H-How did this happen, Rin? Did you get into a fight?” Makoto asked quickly, eyeing the bruises and cuts on Rin’s abused knuckles, just like everyone.

Rin tried to retract his hands to hide them, but Haru grabbed his wrist to take a better look at the wounds. His knuckles were red and looked really bad, both of his hands were hurt and it was obvious he had punched something to get hurt like that.

“Wow… So, in the end…” Everyone turned to look at Nagisa, waiting for him to complete his train of thought. “Rin was the delinquent one… I should’ve known that.”

“No! It’s nothing like that, guys.” Rin started to laugh aloud, everyone looking at him like he was insane and waiting for him to explain. “I just felt down yesterday when I was returning home. The asphalt was rough and I tried to stop the fall with my fists. Not the smartest decision, right?” He said, rubbing behind his neck, sheepishly.

Everyone was speechless. Nagisa was a little disappointed.

“God, you’re all so boring. I thought maybe you would save me from these nerds, Rin-chan.” He said, showing his tongue to Rin.

“Haha, I’m glad you’re okay, Rin.” Makoto patted his back.

They all went back to eat and chat, but not Haru. He remained unmoving and staring at Rin intensely.

“What?” Rin asked, mouth full, when he noticed the stare.

Haru flicked Rin’s forehead in response, earning a yelp from him.

“Be more careful, idiot.” Haru said, and returned to his lunch.

For anyone else, it might have sounded cold or reprimanding, but Rin could hear the concern on his sentence. Haru was worried about him.

Rin smiled at that.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

Haru was having dinner in his house, alone. Makoto was dinning with his family but would go to Haru’s house right after so they could spend their second night together.

Haru wasn’t so scared as he was before, maybe the little bit of social interaction his friends proportioned were enough to get his mind out of the incident. Honestly, he almost didn’t remember it anymore, it felt just like another normal boring occurrence. Makoto sleeping at his house helped a little too during his first night not alone, but he felt better already, more comfortable in his own house. He wasn’t even locking himself up in the bathroom or bedroom, preferring instead to have dinner in the living room, like he used to.

Things were silent, the house was completely locked, Haru was calm. Everything was fine, nothing out of ordinary.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Okay, maybe Haru flinched a bit at the sudden noise, but he calmed down once he realized it was just the damn freaking phone.

He picked up, waiting for the other person to greet or say something, like he always did, but he was met with silence.

“Hello?” He tried, when there was no response. “Who is it?”

For a second he thought the other person had disconnected or the connection was giving problems, but he could hear breathing from the other side of the line. Heavy breathing, as if someone was holding the phone close.

“If this is a prank, it’s not funny.” He said, trying to sound annoyed or menacing, but the hint of fear in his voice was noticeable. He shivered at the silence and breathing.

“The next time he sleeps in your bed… I’ll make sure he doesn’t wake up. Ever.”

The person hung up right after. The beeping of the phone was the only thing Haru could hear, and he was frozen for a moment, his hand shaking.

Haru dropped the phone and ran upstairs to the bathroom. He would have gone to the bedroom, but he didn’t trust that room anymore, not after that threat.

They were the only ones in the house, him and Makoto. How the hell would anyone know they slept in the same bed? Had someone been there when they were sleeping?  It was impossible, the house was heavily locked.

_That didn’t stop the invader to break in last time,_ Haru’s mind reminded.

Oh god, he felt so vulnerable. He hadn’t felt like that in ages, not ever since his parents and grandmother left him. Even at that time, he was able to hold his emotions really well, but now? It was all pouring out, he couldn’t control his body or his thoughts anymore.

Haru remembered the threat. Someone was watching him. Watching them. He didn’t know how, but they were. All the time, it was clear now. It wasn’t just in his head.

He needed to do something. Anything. But he was alone, if this was really dangerous then he couldn’t drag anyone into this mess. He couldn’t count on Makoto anymore.

_Makoto…_ Realization hit him, and Haru ran downstairs to grab the fallen phone from the ground. Makoto would be there soon, but he couldn’t risk it. Not now that he knew he could be putting his best friend in danger.

He dialed Makoto’s number and waited impatiently for him to pick up.

“Tachibana residence.” Came the soft spoken reply of no other than Makoto, and Haru didn’t waste his time.

“Makoto, you don’t need to come tonight.”

“What? Haru? What are you talking about? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, but I don’t need you to come sleep here anymore.”

“What are you talking about, Haru?  And the break in? You might still be in dan-“

“Makoto!” He snapped, but soon controlled his voice. He couldn’t let Makoto realize anything, otherwise it would be even harder to push him away. “I’m fine on my own. There’s no danger, and if something happens, I can protect myself.” He took a deep breath before the last sentence, so that Makoto couldn’t argue with him. “I don’t need you.”

“Haru…”

“I want to be alone, don’t come here tonight.” Was all Haru could muster before he hung up abruptly, leaving a very confused and slightly dejected Makoto behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sleepy. It's late and I've been up the whole day. I cant keep my eyes open anymore, i want my bed so much, but at the same time i wanna make the most of my weekends. I want my vacation time back :'(


	5. Always watching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention already that I dont know how to choose chapters names? So, im sorry if they r lame, its the best i can do at the moment. Also, I took too long to post this chapter, I know, but just warning, I'll take even longer to post the next one. Sooorry~

Haru’s heart was beating fast and his head was spinning. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what happened. It was like all the things happening to him were just floating around, and he couldn’t grasp anything, he couldn’t make sense of anything, it was out of his control and he hated that feeling.

With news like that Haru would probably go to his room now, stay locked up for god knows how long, curled up in bed, until this whole anxiety he was feeling decreased. But it was impossible. He didn’t feel safe in his OWN FUCKING BEDROOM. One of the only places in his house he didn’t fear was now compromised as well, because some psycho knew things that happened inside there, things that he wasn’t supposed to know, because HE WASN’T FUCKING THERE. Or at least Haru thought he wasn’t.

Haru felt like a stranger in his own house. He felt insecure everywhere. His only safe heavens had been the bedroom and the bathro-. Oh, wait. _The bathroom!._ Indeed, the bathroom was still one of the few places Haru felt secure, maybe because there was a lot of water in there, and bathrooms are also commonly known for being a private place (for some people at least). There was no way Haru would consider getting out of the house. Ok, maybe his home wasn’t so reliable, but it was better than being out in the open at this time of the night _. Right?_ Right.

He ran to his bathroom and immediately locked up the door and started to fill up the bathtub. He could use some time in the water.

Haru started to shakily take off his clothes. His body was trembling a lot, but he knew that being in the water would help, so he began to strip himself. Of course, with everything that happened he didn’t feel comfortable being completely naked, even if he was (supposedly) alone in his own house, so he kept his swim trunks. And for the ones wondering, yes, Haru does take off his swim trunks once every (a few) showers. God, not doing that would be totally unsanitary, no?

Haru got into the bathtub and the water was warm and cozy, just like he needed at the moment. He immediately felt his muscles starting to relax, the tension easing up even if just a little bit. Not the worries though. That would take a little bit more time.

Haru was just leaning against the tub, staring at the ceiling and wondering how could everything be so fucked up for him. Like, what did he do to deserve this? No, seriously, he didn’t do anything all day besides obsessing over water and eating mackerel, how the hell did he manage to catch the attention of this psycho freak?

Haru was almost dozing off when he caught a glimpse of something from the corner of his eyes. He turned his head slowly, looking at the thing just for the hell of it but not expecting it to be anything important. His vision was already blurry with sleep, so it was hard to focus on that little shinny… thing? What was that tiny thing under his bathroom sink? Its shine caught Haru’s eye, but if it wasn’t for that it would probably be imperceptible, it was so well hidden by the sink.

Curiosity –and slight paranoia –got the better of Haru, so he shook the sleepiness off and rose up to grab the little thing stuck under his sink.

He looked at the strange thing curiously. How the hell had this object got into his house? He noticed the thing glued to his sink was a small metal ball with a glass orb on the oth-

OH GOD! IT WAS A CAMERA!

Haru’s eyes grew impossibly wide and he dropped the-the- THING to the floor, shattering the glass lens. It was a mini-camera, in his own bathroom, pointing directly to his bathtub! What kind of freak would-? Oh god, Haru couldn’t even think at that moment!  He was shaking uncontrollably again and could barely move from his spot.

He looked at the shattered small thing on the ground for a while, like it was poisonous, trying to gather his thoughts enough to comprehend the situation. There was someone watching him, right at that moment, looking at him through god knows how many more of those cameras, preying on his every move.

It kind of made sense, it explained how the stalker was able to tell Makoto had slept with him in his bed without even being there personally. He was monitoring everything, the coward!

The thought sent a shiver through Haru’s body and it was enough to get him moving.

He started to run around every inch of his bathroom, searching for more of those little disgusting cameras. He found two more of them. TWO! IT MEANS THAT ONLY IN HIS BATHROOM THERE WERE THREE HIDDEN CAMERAS! A private place! A place he bathed, he got NAKED in that place!

Haru desperately ran to his bedroom and started to search every corner for more cameras. There were four of them in his bedroom. They were behind the curtain poles, inside his closet, behind the mirror, everywhere.

Haru took one camera in his hand and looked directly into the lens, imagining it to be that freak’s eyes. He was desperate, he wanted to be left alone and this person, whoever it was, was driving him crazy.

“LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU PSYCHO! D-DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!” Haru was trembling, the camera on his hands was unstable and he was sure the image that person was seeing was probably a very shaky one of Haru freaking out. “You won, ok? I’m scared! I’m terrified! Now j-just… LET ME GO! …Please…” His voice broke at the end, and he let go of the camera, letting it fall to the ground and then stepping on it, shattering it completely.

By the time he finished searching in his bedroom and made sure there was not an inch unexplored, he was sweaty and panting, looking at the crushed cameras he smashed on the ground. His breathing was heavy and his heart was hurting his ribcage with its force. He was so wild and out of control at the moment that he couldn’t help when he broke out in tears. They weren’t silent or gentle, he was sobbing loudly and uncontrollably, unable to breathe, so much that his knees could no longer support his trembling body and he felt to the ground. Even then he couldn’t stop shaking and panting and weeping.

He knew there were probably other cameras in the other rooms of the house, so just the thought of leaving his bedroom made him sick. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move. He was completely out of himself, because he had never been so threatened, so terrified, in his whole life.

Haru laid helplessly on the ground, curling himself in a fetal position, but still shaking. His cries were loud and echoed through the house, only to come back to him and remind him of his impotence. Eventually his mind shut itself down, because there was no strength left in his body, and he passed out. It was the closest to safety his mind could provide at the moment.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Haru woke up a bit disorientated. The surface he was sleeping in was hard and it was hard for his body to remain comfortable. It was no wonder, seeing as he was sleeping on the floor.

Haru was a bit confused at first, _what am I doing laying on the ground?_ He couldn’t remember the previous events that occurred due to post-sleep haziness. Then his eyes locked in on something on the ground and everything came back to him just as strongly as before.

The shattered cameras on the floor were a reminder that he was not alone, he never was. The memories still felt like a dream, but the situation didn’t lie and he wasn’t about to ignore the danger just to preserve his sanity.

He felt like crying. His throat constricted painfully, announcing the oncoming tears, but Haru refused to shed them. He had no more tears to cry anyway, he was completely wasted. He just suppressed a sob and embraced the headache that was slowly claiming his body.

He didn’t know what to do, and he didn’t care anymore either. He felt so helpless, like it was no use to even try to believe in an escape, he would only get even more hurt. But he knew he couldn’t just sit on the floor forever, waiting for someone to save him.

He slowly rose up, ignoring the pain in his muscles, because that was just how numb he was to everything. He didn’t stop to rationally think his actions, what was the right thing to do, so he just started to drag himself out of the house. The only thing he felt was the need to get out of there.

He walked slowly to the door, never once daring to look sideways, afraid that he would see another camera or worse. The thought of finding that- that CREEP in his house sent a shiver down Haru’s spine.

When he got outside he noticed the sky was still dark, so there were two options: He didn’t really sleep that much; or he slept so much that he missed daybreak, school and now it was already night again. The later was rather improbable though, because if that had happened then Makoto would no doubt be freaking out right now, breaking into his house and calling the police.

Haru didn’t care about school or the lack of sleep. He just started to wander through the empty streets, where not a single soul was seen at that time. He didn’t even care about the danger anymore. He was fucked up either way right? At least if he was out in the open then he could scream for help if his stalker decided to attack him.

Haru wasn’t seeing where he was going, too absorbed in his thoughts to notice his surroundings, he didn’t even notice the sound of footsteps on the other side of the street.

“Haru?!” He was pulled out of his thoughts when a voice called his name, and it was enough for him to jump in surprise and fear. “Haru, what are you doing here?!”

The figure screamed from the other side of the street and started to make its way to Haru. He couldn’t see clearly who it was because it was dark, so he was freaking out, but at the same time too scared to move. Haru was frozen in his spot while the person got closer.

“Haru? Are you alright?”

Haru breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed the person was no other than Rin. The terror and paranoid thoughts made it hard for the blue eyed boy to identify the voice and the silhouette.

“I-I’m… I’m fine, Rin…” He managed to say, feeling the tension in his body easing up for being close to someone he could trust.

“You don’t sound too well, though.” The concern in Rin’s voice was thick, and Haru felt a little bad for worrying the other boy. Haru’s problems were affecting him and it wasn’t even his fault.

“I’m just… tired, that’s all”

“Well, you should be. What are you doing out of bed at this hour? You do realize we have school in like, three hours, right?”

Haru hadn’t stop to look at the time, but it made sense, now he knew he didn’t sleep that much and was still supposed to attend school. But something else wasn’t making sense.

“What about you, Rin? What are you doing here at this time?” His question wasn’t suspicious or accusatory, just curious, and Rin melted with the boy’s innocence. He was really too cute for his own good.

“Me? Oh, I was just running. I like to run in the mornings, before dawn, to let out some steam. It makes me feel more relaxed through the day.”

Haru was silent.

“Are you telling me that you wake up three hours earlier than necessary… to exercise?” Haru looked at Rin incredulously.

The air around them got thick as they were surrounded by silence. Rin gulped.

“Well… Yeah…” Rin was feeling a little bit uncomfortable under Haru’s judgmental stare.

“Rin Matsuoka…” He made sure to lock eyes with the boy to convey his message. “You are a very weird person.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I like to torture the uke so much? Really, in almost every story I make in my head the uke always ends up suffering one way or another. Usually because of a possessive seme. I love possessive seme~~  
> On another note completely unrelated, is Jeonghan really an angel? He definitely looks like one. Can I take him and Woozi home with me? Where do I sign the adoption papers?


	6. My personal devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo~~ It's been a long time, right? If u think so, i have bad news, my old friends... because the next chapter i'll probably take even longer to post :') Sorry, dont hate me, its just that i dont have any new ideas for chapters, really D: I mean, I do have some ideas, but Im trying to finish the story quickly and in a way that Haru being with Rin doesnt end up looking too far-fetched. Its difficult, supposing our little Haru hates the stalker, u see. But anyway, just a small chapter so u guys know im still alive and I plan on finishing the fic, even though i might take my whole life to do it, hehe.

The two of them ended up sitting on a bench facing the beach. They were staring at the sea, side by side, exchanging a few comments occasionally while they watched the pinkish and orange tones of the sunrise.

It was a beautiful, breathtaking sight, and it helped to ease Haru’s worries, even if momentarily. Rin helped too, he was right now the only thing bringing Haru to sanity. The blue eyed boy couldn’t help but feel grateful for their coincidental encounter, he felt like Rin really saved him at the moment he needed the most.

They were silent for a long moment, just staring at the breaking waves and listening to the sounds of water and birds. At the sight of water, Haru would’ve probably felt compelled to jump in, but it was quite chilly and he wasn’t in the mood. He didn’t want to be apart from Rin, his only source of safety at the moment.

“So…” Rin’s voice was low. Breaking the silence almost as if afraid to disturb the melodies of the nature around them. He was trying to be as gentle as possible. “Are you gonna tell me now what’s bothering you?”

Haru was silent at that.

Should he tell Rin? Everything? He never considered himself to be too prideful, but he didn’t want to look weak. He didn’t want Rin to know that his mind was crumbling and he needed help, he didn’t want to admit it. So maybe he was a little bit prideful in the end, uhm.

But, dammit, it wasn’t about pride anymore. Maybe before, when he was just _feeling_ he was being watched he could chalk it off as something stupid and irrelevant, but this was no game anymore. It wasn’t a “suspicion”. It was happening, the phone call and the cameras on his house were the proof. It stopped being about pride a long time ago, now it seemed more like a possible question of life and death.

Haru was vulnerable. He acknowledged that. So vulnerable he couldn’t pass up the chance of having someone to trust, to make him safe. If that person happened to be Rin, so be it. He probably wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he felt good in the presence of the red head. Like, maybe, just maybe, if his life was a sappy romance movie, they were meant to be. He felt complete and (dare he say) happy in the other’s presence, and that was something kind of rare for Haru, especially for someone he met not too long ago.

“I’m scared…” It was barely a whisper.

There was so much to say, so much to explain. And, trust me, Haru wanted to say it all. He just wanted to pour his heart out and throw away his problems, like sharing it with someone would ease the burden. But his throat was constricted and the words were stuck inside of him, like a painful childhood trauma people didn’t dare to mention out loud.

Rin didn’t push him for more explanations though. He just waited in silence seconds after Haru uttered that sentence, just staring at the ocean. Haru felt a bit grateful for it.

“You… Don’t have to be, though?” He said suddenly, when Haru thought the conversation was over already. “I’m here, and please, I don’t mean to frighten you in any way, but… I care about you, Haru. A lot more than I should, for that matter. I know we don’t know each other for years, but it doesn’t feel like that to me. I…” Rin took a shaky breath. Haru couldn’t help but diverge his attention to the boy by his side. The oceans no longer seemed more captivating than the alluring figure fumbling with his words. “want to be by your side. In the good times, in the bad times… I want to be there for you. So, if you feel scared, nothing in this world would make me feel more… complete, than to hold you close and protect you from anything.” Rin finally locked eyes with the blue eyed boy. Those red fiery eyes were even more compelling, for at the moment they shone in a way Haru had never seen before. It looked like Rin was about to cry, but he wouldn’t really… Would he? “There’s no reason to be scared, Haru. Not as long as I’m by your side. So… Can I be by your side?”

The hopeful, pleading look in those red orbs caught Haru off guard. There was a raw emotion in there, something stronger than he had ever seen his whole life. The feelings were pouring out, numbing both of them, freezing the moment, but at the same time everything was on fire. Their skins, their looks, their hearts. Haru was so confused, but he couldn’t stop staring at those ruby eyes.

Haru didn’t realize what he was doing, it probably wasn’t a conscious reaction, but he felt like it needed to be done given the circumstances of the most genuine request he had ever heard his whole life. He nodded his head. Slowly, weakly, almost imperceptible, but Rin seemed to have caught it, because at the same time he smiled widely.

Rin took Haru’s hand that was resting on his knee and squeezed it reassuringly, the smile never leaving his lips. At that moment, Haru noticed the look Rin was giving him. It might seem crazy but… It looked like something close to _adoration_. Almost as if he was being worshiped.

Haru couldn’t help but feel like he had just made a pact with the devil.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Haru knew it was inevitable. Makoto was Makoto, and the mother hen was bound to worry about Haru’s strange behavior the previous night. The thing was, Haru was so tired. Physically and mentally. After the adrenaline and panic his stalker provided subsided, he realized he had slept close to nothing and he was dying to meet his bed again. Or any other bed, considering the lack of safety his house provided.

He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Makoto right now. Which didn’t mean he was ignoring his best friend’s worry or disregarding his feelings, it just meant he was too exhausted mentally to think about the one thousand excuses he would need to appease Makoto.

He didn’t want to tell the truth to the green eyed boy, his friend was so kind and concerned all the time, he didn’t want to worry Makoto anymore than necessary. Makoto already worried about Haru so much, it was time to give back the favor. To do something for Makoto, who’s always there trying to make Haru feel better.

That given, Haru tried his best to avoid Makoto when they arrived at school. Firstly, Haru made sure to arrive seconds before the teacher, so Makoto wouldn’t have time to talk with him. Then, he ignored the boy’s calls during the whole class, making the teacher scold Makoto for not paying attention in the lesson. When the bell rang, Haru was the first one out of the classroom, which surprised every student in there, all of them used to Haru being calm and composed, the last one to leave the room.

This didn’t last for long though. Haru was good at keeping low and eluding, but Makoto knew him better than he realized. When Haru finally decided to leave his hiding place to go to the bathroom –it was an extreme necessity –Makoto successfully managed to corral the smaller boy, demanding his attention.

“Cut it off, Haru! You’ve been avoiding me the whole day, what’s wrong with you?” Makoto said, while blocking Haru’s try to dodge and run away again. “You WILL talk to me, Haru! Now spit it out. What happened yesterday? Why are you so weird? Did I do something wrong?”

Haru looked at his best friend’s face and he felt guilty creeping up his chest. He didn’t want Makoto to worry more, he wanted Makoto to not worry at all. Now Makoto was worried and thinking it was his fault, that Haru didn’t want to be close to him anymore.

“It’s… Not like that, Makoto. You did nothing.”

“Then why are you being like that?”

They were in the hallway, which was almost empty, and the few people around didn’t bother with whatever conversation they were having. Makoto had him trapped against the locked, not willing to risk his friend escaping again.

“I… It’s not your fault… It’s just… I wanted time to myself, that’s it.” Makoto was looking at Haru suspiciously, and the boy knew he would have to try better than that. “I like to be alone in my house, having time for myself. Not that I didn’t enjoy your company, just that I think we don’t need to be together 24/7. You have to stay with your family and all, and I need my time alone to thing about… Important stuff.”

“Like water and mackerel?” The worried tone and expression Makoto had was briefly replaced by amused ones. Haru huffed at being mocked of so openly.

“Yeah yeah, like water and mackerel. Now get off me, you’re too close.” Haru said, pushing Makoto off him, while the other boy laughed.

Haru was trying to make Makoto stop laughing, pretending he was angry at the boy in a playful manner, but suddenly he stopped. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his whole body shivered. He was being watched.

He looked at both ends of the hallway, but he didn’t see anyone staring at him, nothing out of the ordinary. But he knew better now than to ignore his instincts.

“Haru? Whats wrong?” Makoto sensed his sudden uneasiness.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. Let’s go.” Haru grabbed Makoto’s arm and dragged him out of there, both of them leaving the hallway in time for the next class. But Haru wasn’t crazy. There was someone in the school.

And this person was fucking obsessed with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, a small tiny little chapter. Just to show some interaction between Rin and Haru, and more stalker drama. I'll try to finish the fic as soon as possible in the next chapters, but I'll probably take some time to write it, sorry ;s Anyway, till next time o/ XOXO


	7. In the Lion's Den

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo~~ It's been such a long time, no? Im sorry im so lazy, i wont blame college this time, i just wasted my free time reading fanfic instead of writing it :')  
> This chapter is kind of long, but its also full of mistakes and bad written because i was trying to finish as soon as possible, sorry about that. But the good things is, there is a plot in here rs. Aaaaaand, Haru will finally stop being Haru in this chap XD  
> Ok, thats it, enjoy, see u later XOXO

School was over for the day and everyone was ready to go home. Everyone but Haru.

No one noticed how he took longer than usual to put away his stuff. He was trying to delay as much as possible, so he wouldn’t have to face reality and go home to his nightmares. Ironic, no?

Some things couldn’t be postponed forever, so he found himself walking home beside Rin and Makoto. Both boys were chatting happily, oblivious to the dark aura emanating from the blue-eyed teen.

As they chatted like everything was in place, Haru’s world was falling apart. He was scared, even though his exterior didn’t show it. He was frozen inside and having a hard time controlling his breathing so the boys wouldn’t notice just how affected he was with the whole thing.

It still surprised him how he was able to keep it all to himself. I mean, he was in danger. It was real. But he was still pushing everyone away and trying to convince himself that it was going to be fine. Haru knew it was not going to be fine, not the way things were progressing. But he couldn’t help it, he didn’t want to ask for help. Was it pride? He didn’t want to look pitiful or desperate. Yeah, looking desperate would surely shatter years of an indifferent façade. Maybe he just wanted to be better and protect his friends from all this craziness. Maybe, just maybe, he didn’t care anymore. It will happen what it should happen, or some bullshit like that.

That didn’t make him feel any better though. He was still freaking out inside.

Makoto went home when they parted ways and Rin accompanied Haru to his house. When they got to the stairs leading to the place, Haru hesitated. He didn’t want to go back there, he was so so scared. And Rin noticed it.

“Haru…? Is everything ok?” He asked, even though the answer was obvious.

“…”

Rin squeezed his hand reassuringly, catching the blue eyed boy by surprise. He looked at Rin’s face, his eyes a mist of confusion and despair. The redhead smiled softly, as if to tell him that everything was going to be okay. The craziest things was: Haru believed him.

Maybe he needed someone to lean on. Maybe it was the way Rin captivated him from the first time they saw each other. Maybe it was the way the boy was smiling and squeezing his hand, putting a spell on him, just like a devious mermaid.

He chose to fall for the spell.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Just like that, both boys spent the whole day talking and walking around the beach. They hid their backpacks somewhere between the rocks along the shore, took of their shoes and ties, and decided to just stay in the beach.

Haru would’ve gotten in the water, but the weather was being mean to him again. Although he was past the point of caring. By him, he would just dive into the ocean, to hell with the weather. But then again, there was Rin.

He didn’t want to let go of the other boy. He was scared that when he came back to the surface and looked at the beach, he wouldn’t see that familiar red spot anymore. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be without Rin. And asking him to join Haru in the water was out of the question, he wouldn’t want to feel responsible for someone else’s pneumonia. So he decided to just walk beside Rin, just stare at the water like you stare at an old friend from across the street. A recognition, a hand wave and a goodbye, always looking behind your shoulder to see where that person will go from now on.

They talked about innumerous things. The things they liked, the things they disliked… Places they wanted to go, places they wouldn’t go close… What they wanted to do in the future, what they wanted to run away from… It was amazing how much you could know from someone just from these simple little talks. Only small things, insignificant, but they formed each one of them, and that was fascinating.

But it was starting to get dark, and Haru felt the safety provided by the other’s presence being converted to panic again. He didn’t want to go home again.

“I don’t…” He started, unsure of what he would say. He wasn’t even sure if he should say it, but it was in his mind, and it was the only thing threatening to come out of his mouth. “I don’t want to go home…”

Rin was silent at that. Almost like he was expecting Haru to say something like that. Well, it wouldn’t be a surprise, anyone who cared enough to know just a little bit of Haru could see how disturbed the boy looked nowadays.

“You… You could always come home with me…” He said, unsure if it was the right time for such proposal. Haru looked so fragile, so vulnerable, and he didn’t want to disturb the boy even more.

Haru seemed to consider it, because he was silent for a long time after that. Rin held his breath in anticipation for the answer. When he thought Haru had given up answering him, finally came the response.

“…Okay…”

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

That’s how they ended up there. Haru sleeping in Rin’s bedroom after much insistence from the later, while Rin chose to sleep on the couch in the living room. Luckily, the couch looked much more comfortable and larger than the one in Haru’s house, so it was unlikely that the boy would have a hard time with it. That eased Haru’s mind a little, making him able to lay down in peace.

Haru was in that large bed, wearing a borrowed pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, both of them smelling like Rin, which wasn’t actually a bad thing. He was so tired. Yet, he couldn’t even close his eyes.

The thing is, it wasn’t panic or despair he was feeling at the moment, but rather a tingle of interest. He hadn’t realized until that moment that he had always wondered how Rin’s house was like. How his family was like. How his bedroom was like.

Rin lived alone, just like Haru, and the latter was kind of glad to hear that. He didn’t feel like meeting new people or trying to find a plausible explanation for deciding to sleep there so suddenly, he was actually happy that Rin never questioned him about it.

The house was… normal. So was the room, so was the bed, the bathroom, the walls, everything. It was everything you would expect from a boy his age, not too childish and not too formal at the same time. It was almost like Haru’s own house, and he liked that. It felt like he was in a familiar place, yet a place untouched by his stalker.

Being so relaxed as he was in that place, it wasn’t difficult for him to feel sleep claiming his eyelids not long after. He didn’t fight with it, he didn’t need to keep vigilant, because Rin was there, and he trusted Rin, and Rin would protect him from anything.

With that in mind, Haru felt asleep like he hadn’t for days.

 

\-------------------------

There was water. It was everything he needed. He missed it so much. It felt like returning home, being embraced by the only thing that understood him completely. He was in heaven, his heaven, his own heaven made of water, like the bottom of the ocean, and he could breathe underneath it.

It was perfect. He felt it, perfection. Like he hadn’t felt for days, and it was only because he was finally in peace. He was safe, he was okay. Nothing could hurt him at the moment.

And that’s why it was a surprise when he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night.

He wasn’t feeling agitated or disturbed, he wasn’t having nightmares, so it was somewhat strange. One moment he was sleeping, and the next the sleep decided to leave his body and he opened his eyes. He felt kind of bad for it. I mean, the first good night of sleep he had in what felt like forever and he woke up just like that, it was like his own mind was playing a prank on him.

He tried to go back to dreamland, close his eyes and think about numerous things, he even tried counting sheep. However, no matter how hard he tried, he didn’t feel sleep returning so soon.

He gave up trying to sleep after a few hours and decided to go get some water, or maybe just go to the bathroom and wash his face or pee, he would decide on the way. He looked at the clock on the bedside table and it marked 4am, so it was unlikely that Rin was up, even if the boy woke up earlier than the average.

He walked his way out of the room touching the walls, because he didn’t want to deal with the brightness that would come with turning on the lights. He padded through the house silently, being careful not to wake Rin up.

When he got to the living room, he could make out the figure of the sleeping boy on the couch and was even more careful to not disturb him. He knew where was the kitchen, Rin had shown him while giving him a tour around the house, so it was easy to find his way.

He was at the kitchen door, ready to open it, when something caught his attention. He looked to his left and saw a long hallway, which ended in a single closed door. He had asked Rin what it was but the boy said he didn’t have to worry, that it was just a room to keep old stuff. Haru found this strange, since the boy showed him everything around, even the garden for some reason, but didn’t show him that single place.

This was Rin’s house and it was his call what he wanted to show the visits or not. It probably was just a dirty room and he was embarrassed to show it, Haru thought. But, even if his own reason was telling him that, he felt that sensation in the pit of his stomach, like something was wrong. Like when you’re about to go on a dangerous adventure you don’t want to, and then you get scared and nervous at the same time, it was close to that feeling.

Haru felt the urge to run, to get out of there. Not just the hallway, he felt the need to get out of the house, the place was so cozy a few moments ago, but now it felt suffocating. And yet, against his better judgement, he started to walk toward the door.

His hands were shaking and he felt like he couldn’t control his body, couldn’t make himself turn around and go away. He needed to know what was on the other side of the door, only then he would sleep in peace. Or not.

He touched the cold metal of the handle and pressed it, being almost certain that it was locked. But it wasn’t. The door opened easily, and revealed a dark room. He couldn’t see much due to the lack of light, but he didn’t want to turn on the lights either because he was scared Rin would wake up.

On the other hand, he needed to know what was on the room. So his hands subconsciously padded the wall, searching for the switch, and when it was found and pressed, light made the boy able to see what was inside the room. And he desperately wished he hadn’t.

The walls were full of them. From the bottom to close to the ceiling, you almost couldn’t see the wood beneath. Countless photos. Haru walked closer to the wall to look at them, and his world fell apart.

They were photos of himself.

Haru saw himself walking home, studying at school, swimming during practice, on the rooftop. And the weirdest thing was, it was ok, because what came next was what made Haru wish he had never opened that damn door.

Photos of him sleeping on his bed, in the middle of bathing, cleaning his house, changing clothes… All photos of him, in every single inch of that place, and in none of them he was aware of the camera.

He started to shake more than before, but now he had a clear reason to. He felt fear cursing through his bones, but he couldn’t run at the same time, his muscles were frozen on spot.

He looked at the far end of the room, where a big table with a lot of stuff on top was positioned, facing the door. He got closer, even though he was sure he would regret.

He didn’t know how to describe it, he just felt the knots in his stomach intensifying and felt like he would get sick at how twisted this whole thing was. There weren’t only framed photos of him on that table.

He saw at least two swimming trunks, and he immediately recognized them. How could he not? They were his own. The pairs he thought he had lost, that he had even given up on trying to find, they weren’t even in his house. They had been stolen. Not just that, but he could see other pieces of clothing like old t-shirts, boxers and pants. He also saw random things that had disappeared from his house, like a pillow and a glass statue that he didn’t even noticed had gone missing. But then, he noticed even weirder objects.

There were pieces of paper that he recognized as packages of food and candy, like gum and lollipops. And he recognized them, because of course he would remember about the rare times he allowed himself to eat things other than mackerel, and the wrappings on the table belonged to those things. There were also crumpled pieces of paper that looked dirty, and Haru realized they were what he used to wipe his mouth clean.

He shivered at this. That psychopath even kept the papers he used to clean his mouth, how obsessed does someone have to be to do something like that?

It wasn’t just a psychopath. This was Rin’s house, Haru remembered. Rin, his friend Rin, the one who he could trust, the one who had helped him and said he would keep him safe. But the real threat was actually him…

Haru felt the sting of his eyes, indication of the oncoming tears, but he held himself. This was no time to cry, not when he was inside the house of his stalker, the person who took always all of his sanity in so little time. His mind screamed for him to run away, go as far as he could from that house, that person, in preference to the nearest police station. Now that he knew who that person was there was nothing holding him back, he knew where the threat was, he would be able to avoid it.

He was ready to run, ready to never see Rin’s face again in his life, but a deep voice coming from behind him interrupted his thoughts.

“Do you like what you see, my love?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thaaaaat's it~ Hope u guys liked it, see u next time.


	8. Caged Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOO~~~  
> Look who's not dead? Yes, me \o/  
> Haha, I know I took waaaaaaay too long to post this chapter, because I'm a horrible person and I dont deserve to be loved, Im sorry :')  
> Really, I had some problems with college (because we are in a kind of fragile political situation in my country right now, and it kind of reflects a lot in our education ;s ) so thats why I took too long. But there's also the fact that I really didnt know what to write in the next chapter, I wasnt having any inspiration, and I didnt want to just write some shit and post it, you deserve better. But I would never think of abandoning this fanfic, I promise.  
> I'll just warn this here. I dont know what to write in the next chapter hahaha. So it might take a while to update, or, i dont know, maybe tomorrow I will get a super boost of inspiration and start to write non stop and finish the fic and post it, but you never know. Let's just leave the future in the future, shall we?  
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter, made with so much rush so you guys wouldnt hate my guts <3

“Y-Y-YOU! I-It was y-you!” Haru turned around so fast he almost knocked everything on the table to the ground. He tried to back away from the other person in the room, but the only thing he could do was lean on the table, trying to put as much space as possible between them.

Rin was there. His Rin. Not his Rin. Another Rin. It was one he didn’t know. How much of his Rin was inside the person standing in front of him? How much of everything they went through was true?

“Yes, Haru… It’s me… There’s no need to be afraid, love.”

Rin’s face was indecipherable. His expression was cold and serious and he looked at Haru like someone would look at a prey who was ready to escape. There was also curiosity in his eyes, he wanted to see what Haru would do, he wanted to predict the end of whatever was going on between them.

Haru noticed how his muscles were tense, how his whole posture was tense, and this only made Haru more desperate. He would have to try to get away from this demon standing in front of him, because he was sure that person couldn’t possibly be his Rin. Not with that face, not with that menacing posture, not with those lustful and dangerous eyes.

Haru saw that Rin was holding something on his right hand. It looked like a piece of white cloth that he was clenching really hard in his closed fist. Haru didn’t know what it was, he didn’t know anything anymore, not about that person.

“W-W-What is t-this? W-What is this in your hand?!” Haru was screaming, he didn’t know how. He didn’t even know he was capable of pronouncing a single word in the panicked state he was in, but the words came out without his consent, like it wasn’t even himself speaking.

“This is…” Rin paused, clenching even harder the cloth in his hand, his eyes never leaving Haru’s. “It’s gonna be okay, Haru…” He said, his voice calm and controlled, the complete opposite of how Haru was.

Haru didn’t wait for it to ‘be okay’. In a sudden movement, he pushed Rin to the side with all his strength, not giving time for the boy to react, and rushed past him. He ran with all his might, he didn’t even care where he was going anymore, he was just trying to get away from that person.

His lungs looked like they were about to get out of his chest, but it wasn’t from too much running, because everything happened in seconds. It was because he was so terrified, like he had never been in his whole life.

He saw the door. The door that would lead him outside, where he could run to the streets and look for help. Where he could go around screaming for someone to save him, waking up the neighbors he wasn’t even sure if Rin had. He could make it. He was so close. He just needed to reach out his hand a little…

Haru was all of a sudden harshly pushed to the ground, a body strongly holding him down. Haru’s body hurt all over from the fall, but he still tried to fight, still screamed and trashed, still looked at the door that was so close and he couldn’t reach.

“Sshhh… There’s no escape, Haru. There never was.” He heard a deep and husky voice above him saying, Rin’s mouth being se close to his ear, almost touching it with his lips.

Haru felt something being shoved in his face, obstructing his breathing. He saw it was the white cloth Rin was holding and realized the other boy’s intentions. He tried to hold his breath, he really tried, but he was in panic and hyperventilating, so there was nothing much he could do.

He soon felt everything becoming numb and his vision becoming dark. The last thing he felt was a kiss on his cheek, accompanied with a low voice.

“I’m gonna be here when you wake up, my love. I’ll always be here with you…”

 

\--------------------

 

The pain in his head was the first thing he noticed and what woke him up at first. His head was spinning and hurting so much, he couldn’t even open his eyes. Everything was a mess, so he tried to take deep long breaths until he felt confident enough to look around.

Bad decision. The nausea that hit him at that time was too strong, it made his head hurt even more and he was sure he would throw up any moment now. He stilled and waited for his body to calm down.

When Haru felt it was okay to look around, he opened his eyes and didn’t see very much. The room was almost completely dark, if not for the light coming in from what Haru assumed was the crack of a door. He was in a soft place, a bed maybe? He wasn’t sure, everything was too confusing. He remembered what happened for him to be in that position and he knew that, wherever he was, it wasn’t a good place. Not with that demon close by.

Haru tried to feel the wall closest to him, without leaving the bed, looking for a light switch. He found it and made the room bright enough to let him see what he was facing against.

It was a small room. The walls were made of wood and there was a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling, enough to illuminate the tiny space. There was a single bed, where Haru was laying. Other than that, there was a door in one of the walls and another on the opposite wall. He was sure they were locked, but he would try to see for himself anyway, it was not like he would lay there and do nothing. He planned to fight back, it was his life after all.

He went for the first door, the one with the light coming out of the cracks. Sure enough, it was locked. Ok, he expected that.

The second door though opened easily, and Haru became even more afraid when he saw what was inside. It was a small bathroom. A toilet, a sink and a small shower in the corner. And it would be ok, convenient actually, if it wasn’t for that little question inside Haru’s head: _Why would I need a bathroom for in this place?_ Haru was sure now, it looked too much like a prison, his very own prison, for God knows how long.

“I’m sorry for having to lock you up here, really.”

Again, Haru was startled at the sound of Rin’s voice, and turned abruptly to find the boy standing beside the bed. He was very silent, Haru would admit, he didn’t even hear his footsteps coming. The door through which Rin probably came through was already closed behind him, careful not to let Haru get out. Rin was looking at Haru and seemed to know what the latter was thinking while looking at the bathroom. It did look like a prison cell, maybe because it kind of was one.

They were both in silence after that, staring at each other without uttering a single word. Rin was waiting for Haru to have a reaction, while the blue-eyed boy was too scared to move a muscle.

But, the thing was, Haru wasn’t supposed to be scared, was he? It was Rin in front of him. Ok, maybe the boy was up to some scary stalker shit he never knew about, but it was still Rin, a person he knew, he talked to, he trusted. That thought was enough to make Haru calm his heart a little bit, trying to find the familiarities in this unfamiliar situation. He didn’t need to be scared of Rin.

When Haru felt confident enough, he decided to voice his question. The only question that plagued his mind since it all started, the question that was eager to get out and be answered. The only question his mind could think of at the moment.

“…Why…?”

It was barely a whisper, and Haru wondered if Rin heard him. But the silence in the room and Rin’s focus on him were enough to make the slightest thing noticeable.

Rin took a deep breath, he was waiting for that question actually. He had rehearsed what he would say in that crucial time a thousand times in front of the mirror, but at that moment, looking in Haru’s beautiful blue orbs, it all seemed to vanish in thin air. The other boy had this effect on him, always had, since the first time he laid his eyes on the oblivious raven haired boy that would soon become his obsession, his only reason for breathing.

“I don’t understand how you haven’t realized it yet, really.” Rin chuckled. “You are mine, Haru. Since the first time I laid my eyes on you, I knew you would be mine, because I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t share, I don’t give up. I want you, Haru. Badly. And you are mine now, that’s one thing you can be sure of.”

The authoritative tone in the redhead’s voice made Haru shiver. He always knew the boy had this dominant and persistent aura in him, exhaling confidence, but now he could see it first hand, and it seemed too much for him to handle.

“But… Why me? I-I never… I never asked for this, who do you think you are? Rin, what do you think you are doing?!” Haru couldn’t control the volume or the shake of his voice anymore, but he willed himself to. First, because he was too tired and impaired from whatever happened earlier, he wouldn’t be able to run away or fight back if things got out of hand. But mostly because he didn’t wanna fight. He didn’t want to be like that with Rin, deep down he knew he cherished the boy too much for that to happen. His mind, despite the fear, still knew that he would rather things to go back the way it was with the redhead before he discovered everything than to cut relationships completely with the other. “…Why me…?” He whispered.

“Honestly, I don’t know, Haru. I never believed in soulmates or fate, but I can’t describe what I feel without using these words anymore. It was unique. It was like I was finally living, after being dead and never noticing it. Only because I knew you were there, in the world, somewhere I could reach.” He looked in Haru’s eyes, his gaze unwavering. Rin was sure of what he was saying, he didn’t have an ounce of doubt or uncertainty in his voice. Those had vanished in the first week he had started to stalk Haru, when he still believed he was truly going mad. Now, he was sure. He is mad, Haru made him that way. And now he would have to bear the consequences. “It’s frustrating, you know? Going insane. Thinking about the same fucking person every single minute of your life, not being able to eat or sleep only because the thought of that person makes you want to drop everything and chase them. You don’t need to point out my wrongdoings, Haru. I know what I did, I know it was wrong. And you know what? I don’t care. Because I got what I wanted. You. You are here, and I swear, not even the Devil can take you away from me now.”

Haru couldn’t believe what he was listening. His heart started pounding really fast, because he knew, all those words coming out of Rin’s mouth, they were true. He belonged to Rin now. The redhead’s voice didn’t leave room for discussion, it was like he was stating facts.

Haru’s eyes started getting watery and slowly the tears began to silently make their way down his face, but never once averting from Rin’s still form in the room. Standing, waiting for Haru to say something, to deny him, just so he could show him just how much of Haru he owned. And Haru couldn’t fight it, because he knew, even before Rin kidnapped him, he belonged to the other boy. Since the first time he felt those stupid emotions upon touching the other’s skin. From the very first moment he looked in those red orbs, so alluring, he knew. He didn’t belong to himself anymore. And now, it looked like Rin found that out too.

“Anyway… I thought you might be hungry, so I brought you something to eat…” Rin said, finally averting his eyes, not being able to stand watching Haru cry, and pointing to a tray on top of the bed that Haru hadn’t noticed was there. The blue eyed boy let out a sarcastic snort.

“Lunch or dinner?” He stared in those fiery orbs, defying Rin, showing that he would not submit.

“That’s something you don’t need to know anymore.” Rin simply said, and those words were like a stab through Haru’s sanity. He was truly caged. “Anyway, enjoy. I’ll come back later to check up on you. If there’s something else you wanna eat, just tell me and I’ll try to bring it next time.”

Rin started leaving the room, opening the door and placing his foot on the first step of what looked like stairs that led up, which made Haru think he was in some kind of basement. Haru looked at the tray on the bed and saw a large piece of mackerel with pineapple. The redhead knew him too well.

Before Rin left the room for good, he looked at Haru one more time. His eyes met blue ones and held his gaze. However, his orbs this time held different feelings. No dominance, no authority. Just pure and simple adoration. The strong lovingly emotion present in those eyes made Haru shiver slightly.

“…And Haru, don’t forget. I said it before, and I’ll say it as many times as it takes. I love you.”

And Rin left. And the door closed. And Haru didn’t know when it would ever open again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, quick question. Do you want this fic to end here or not? I dont know, this ending sounded so poetic to me, u know? Just closing the door and "the end", sounds kind of mysterious, like u dont know what happens next, never will, but you can imagine e-e.  
> But at the same time I think I would be the biggest jerk in the planet to end a fanfic like that. It might be poetic and all, but dammit, it doesnt feel like an ending at all XD What about poor Haru? What will be of him? hahahahaha  
> I dont know. I think I will continue the fic, because I want a better ending. But if you guys decide this ending is better (if you are the masochist mysterious type) then let me know. Leave in the comments that you want the fic to end like this here, pls ^^  
> Well, thats it. See you around haha. Bye o/


	9. The Dark Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOO~~  
> Look who decided to appear and prove that's she's not dead haha  
> It took me a long time to write this, yes. It was not because of time, but because of inspiration. I really didn't know how to maniputale the story so they would end up together and everything, and in this chapter it will seem like I just tottally fucked it up (maybe I did), but bear with me please.  
> I wanted to show another side of Rin, and I know some of you won't like it, it's a really disgusting side and not the kind of Rin we know and love. But if I'm not mistaken, I did warned that there was going to be some rape related scenes in here. Plus, this Rin is not a stable person, if you guys haven't noticed until now, hehe. I wanted to show how he really acts when he loses control, so you will be able to see more sides of him than what he always planned to show Haru.  
> I'm sorry if any of you don't like this chapter, I'm pretty insecure about it myself, being it the writing or the theme, I'm really nervous.  
> Please, let me know what you think about it, ok? But be gentle in the comments, pleeeeease <3

Haru didn’t know how long it had been. Days, weeks… Months? I didn’t seem like that long, but he couldn’t be completely sure because he couldn’t even distinguish night from day anymore, hours from minutes. He was there, forgotten, for god knows how long.

Rin would come in at certain times of the day, bringing food and company. The food would always be to Haru’s liking. Mackerel, well cocked and everything, but he never showed any appreciation.

Haru didn’t even eat in Rin’s presence. It was like a hunger strike meant to only happen when Rin was in the room, just so Haru could show the real depth of his dislike for the other boy. Every time Rin would just sigh and try to leave as soon as possible, so Haru would stop ignoring the hungry growls coming from his own stomach and eat the damn food.

The chat wasn’t much either, they didn’t have much to talk about or a subject to start an interesting conversation. I mean, it would be kind of a jerkish move from Rin to ask about Haru’s day. He was a prisoner in every sense, Rin didn’t want the already distant boy to avoid him even more by reminding him of that fact. He never meant to make Haru hate him, it’s just that he never saw another way.

Rin also prevented from talking about his own day. He didn’t want Haru to think about everything he had been missing going out, he didn’t want the other boy to wish to be anywhere else. So he tried to talk about themselves. Well, about Rin actually, because Haru would only answer with nods and shakes of his head, making the conversation a little bit harder. Rin would tell Haru about his likes and dislikes, his personality, his dreams and fears. And Haru didn’t even bother to pretend he’s listening, he just wanted Rin to get the fuck out as soon as possible. It didn’t seem bother the redhead, that always kept talking anyway.

Today was a particularly gloomy day for Haru, because he could feel it. It was raining. And no, he wasn’t seeing the raindrops or feeling the wetness in the air, but he just knew it, that’s how strong his connection with water was. He knew it was raining, even if there was nothing that showed him that. And that’s why it was a bad day.

The only access to water he had during those days in captivity was either the shower or the sink, sometimes the glasses of water Rin would bring him during meals, but that was it. He didn’t get the chance to submerge in water, feel its embrace, its soothing waves telling him everything was going to be alright. Maybe because it really wasn’t. But he missed it, and the raindrops he couldn’t see made him feel a kind of longing he hadn’t felt for a long time. He wanted to be in that rain. He wanted to feel it, every single droplet, falling on his face and setting him free. But he couldn’t. And damn, that hurt.

That day, when Rin came to deliver Haru his meal and make small talk he could sense something was wrong and somehow he knew it was because of the rain. His water lover boy, of course it would be because of the rain. Rin smiled minimally at that, a sad smile because he knew what was wrong, yet he couldn’t let himself make it better for Haru. He was doomed to watch the boy’s pain. And damn, that hurt.

“Hey…” He said softly, closing the door behind him while balancing the tray in his hands. He didn’t want to startle the blue eyed boy, who had his back to the door, but he somehow knew that Haru was aware of his presence.

He positioned the tray gently on the bed and pushed it towards Haru, who was sitting in the far end of it, not acknowledging Rin’s presence.

“I brought Mackerel again today. Honestly, everyday I think about cooking something else for you, you know? Doing something special and all, but I know you wouldn’t like it because you just love this dish so much, so there’s nothing I can do. It’s kind of frustrating really, haha.”

Haru said nothing, but it was okay, Rin was used to it already. He was always the one doing the talking and specially in this day where Haru was visibly down he didn’t expect any different reaction from the boy.

“I actually thought I would grow tired of Mackerel myself, you know? Having to cook it all the time, but that didn’t happen. If anything, I’m liking mackerel more than before, haha. Maybe its presence in this house is turning me into a mackerel freak too, Haru. I didn’t know a dead fish could have this kind of power.”

Silence. Ok, Rin could live with that.

“I can’t help but wonder though, isn’t there anything sweet you like? Maybe chocolate? Ok, scratch that, you definitely don’t look like the chocolate kind of person haha. But maybe something else. You know, I would be more than happy to bring it to you if there’s any candy you want.”

Rin hopefully looked at Haru, looking for at least a shake of his head, but Haru didn’t move an inch. He was totally ignoring Rin, and the latter just sighed at that realization. Well, he wasn’t expecting much anyway.

There was a brief silence in the air, Rin didn’t know what to talk about. Being turned down so bluntly takes its tool on someone’s confidence. He didn’t want to leave so soon though, even if every fiber of Haru’s body was telling him to do so. I mean, he had the boy he had always wished for in front of his eyes, and he was not able to appreciate it? He knew it wasn’t going to be easy to have Haru’s love, actually a little part of him didn’t even expect one day to have his affections. But as long as he looked at the boy, it was okay. Even if Haru didn’t look back at him, it was okay. As long as it was Haru, it would always be okay.

Rin spent at least half an hour making small talk. Pointless pathetic subjects to which he got no reply, but he kept talking. He just wanted Haru to know he didn’t care to be pushed away, he would always come back for him. Haru only kept silent in the same position, not even looking at the redhead, who kept talking on and on. But that day, it was different. Haru was different. Was it the rain? Or had he finally had enough?

“So, everytime I’m bored I try to remember the time I had th-

“Rin.”

Rin stopped suddenly at that, his shocked expression didn’t mask how surprised he was to hear his name coming out of his love’s mouth. He missed that voice so much that he was momentarily frozen, he didn’t know what to do or say, but he needed to snap back to reality and answer the boy. He didn’t know when they would ever get the chance to talk again.

“Y-Yes?”

There was a thick silence in the air before Haru’s voice cut through it again, low as a whisper but loud enough for Rin to hear it.

“I don’t care.”

Rin blinked. Once, twice. Trying to make sense of those few words that Haru so suddenly decided to bluntly put in the conversation, after all this time sticking with the silent treatment.

“What?”

“I don’t care, Rin. About anything. I don’t care about you. The only thing I care about is leaving this place. I don’t love you, I never will. I don’t know what you were thinking when you brought me here, but the only thing I think about every time I see you is how I wished we had never met in the first place. I will never love you, Rin. Stop dreaming.”

Those words were harsh and honestly, a stab would’ve been less painful. Haru knew he was being mean, but he was aiming to hurt Rin. He didn’t know exactly what he was saying, but he knew it would get to the other boy, that’s what he wanted. He wanted Rin to hate him so much to the point of letting him go. That was the best plan he could come up with. Making Rin stop loving him. Showing Rin all the reasons why he was not a person to be loved.

Haru didn’t know this kind of love Rin talked about, he had never met it. He was curious, the boy seemed so passionate every time their eyes would meet, he seemed to really worship Haru. The thing is, Haru is not something to be worshipped. He is a boy obsessed with water and mackerel, who doesn’t know how to properly express his feelings for the ones around him and doesn’t even bother to do it. Haru isn’t someone deserving of this love. Rin, he deserved better. He deserved someone who would make him happy, who would be able to return all the love he had to give.

Honestly, Haru didn’t even believe the things coming out of his mouth. They were supposed to hurt Rin and him only, but why did he suddenly feel a pang in his chest? Like something was squeezing his heart and telling him they knew about his lies? Why did it feel like he was the hurt one instead?

Haru didn’t have much time to ponder about his deepest feelings, because a sudden loud noise resonated in the room, making him look at Rin surprised. The redhead had thrown the tray to the wall, breaking the plate and glass and smearing all the food on the surface and the floor.

Rin was standing, fists tightly closed, shaking slightly and heaving deeply, like he had just run a marathon. His face was down, hidden by his hair and the shadows, making Haru unable to identify just how bad he had messed up. However, he knew he had said too much. Rin was oozing rage and that was something new, a part of him Haru didn’t know and would’ve liked to keep it that way. Now it was too late, and Haru was starting, actually for the first time since he got there, to fear for his life.

Haru didn’t have time to move away or run when Rin suddenly grabbed him by his arms, throwing him merciless on the bed. Haru was scared and tried to crawl away backwards, but Rin pulled him by the ankles and held his shoulders with a force that was certain to leave bruises.

“P-P-Please, R-Rin! W-What are you DOING?!” Haru was terrified, and the shake in his voice was uncontrollable, but Rin didn’t seem to care. He was just on top of Haru, still heaving and letting out all the rage he felt.

A sudden slap sounded in the room and Haru turned his head abruptly, his burning cheek almost numb compared to the shock of having Rin hitting him like that. He was so right to be scared, his Rin would’ve never hit him, but he had pushed him too far this time. Now he was paying the price.

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, HARU!” Rin’s voice sounded like thunder, resonating in the whole room and making Haru shiver even more. He had never seen Rin so enraged like that. He was regretting everything he said already, but it wasn’t enough to stop the other boy, it was too late now.

Rin placed his hands around Haru’s neck and squeezed, not enough to cut his airways completely but just enough to make him stop debating and start to focus on relieving the pressure on his neck instead.

“Do you think it’s okay to do this, hm?!  Do you think it’s okay to come into my life and leave me this mess of a person, and then say this kind of things so simply, like you didn’t just crushed my soul?!  Do you think it’s fine to make a man go this crazy and then treat him like he is nothing, like he’s trash?”

“P-Please, Rin, stop, p-please!”

“ANSWER ME, HARU!” He yelled in Haru’s face, making the other shut up immediately, afraid of what would happen if he continued to plead for his life. “But you know what? You are right! I am trash, Haru. You made me like this. I’m worthless, you didn’t need to remind me! And since I’m just a nobody, a monster, then why bother acting like the nice guy? Hm? No matter how hard I try, you’ll never see me as your knight in shining armor! You will never love me anyway, right?! You said so yourself, then why should I care about your feelings and try to make you like me? I’ll just get what I want from you, you slut. This is what we monsters do. We just prey on innocent defenseless beauties that are too busy being heartless to notice we have feelings.”

Rin, still holding Haru’s head in place, licked his face from his chin to his forehead, making the latter cringe at the wet feeling. Then, he got really close to Haru’s ear and whispered, menacingly, spreading shivers all over the smaller body.

“I’ll just make you mine right now, baby. Since you won’t give yourself willingly, then I’m going to have my way. But don’t worry, if you are a good whore you may enjoy it too. Well, not that I care. As long as I get to cum inside your pretty little hole it doesn’t really matter how you feel.” His words were dripping with venom, and Haru swore that he felt them hurting him more than the hands around his neck. This was not his Rin. He didn’t know this person, but he was utterly scared of him. “Don’t worry, love. I’ll make both of us feel amazing right now. So just shut your pretty mouth and only open it if I tell you to suck my cock.”

Haru was turned around abruptly and his face was pressed against the mattress, making it even harder to get out of the other’s grip. He could hear Rin messing with his own buckle, trying to take off his pants. The ragged breath in his ears, the brutish hands handling like he was a doll, with enough force to bruise him. It hurt. All of it, it hurt too much.

Finally, it seemed like the reality of the situation was catching up to Haru. He realized that it was not a nightmare or something that _could_ happen. It was something that _is_ happening. He was going to be raped.

He stopped trashing around, the pain in his exhausted limbs were too much for him, and stopped screaming too. Screaming made no sense, Rin wasn’t listening to him. On the contrary, the more he screamed, the more Rin would call him horrible names and get mad. However, being silent was something he would never do, not when his life was about to fall apart in front of his eyes.

One tear started trickling down his cheek, followed by another and another and in no time Haru was sobbing, vision completely blurry from the unstoppable agony tears.

He was so immersed in his crying and awful thoughts of the pain about to come that he didn’t notice that Rin froze on top of him. Rin just stopped his movements completely, noticing that Haru wasn’t even trying to fight him off anymore, and stayed like that.

After a few minutes, Haru realized Rin had stopped, but he didn’t try to push him away. He just cried harder. He cried like never before, he couldn’t believe the amount of pain inside his chest. He cried until his face was bloated and numb and he had no more water to shed.

Then, he just laid there. Completely quiet, if not for occasional whimpers, with Rin still on top of him, still unmoving.

Haru had cried so much, it had taken a toll on his body. His eyelids felt heavy and his head hurt, he felt like passing out any moment now. Yet, on the back of his mind, he was still lucid enough to be grateful he wasn’t raped. Grateful that Rin stopped himself, for whatever reason. Grateful that maybe the other wasn’t the monster he was claiming to be.

“I-I…” Rin started, but his voice was raspy and broken. He cleared his throat so he could say it again, this time stronger, more sincere, and thick with emotions he didn’t know how to express if not for his next words. “…I’m sorry…”

Then, in the next second, Rin had gotten off Haru and was out of the door, slamming it behind him loudly before running off with rushed steps. All Haru could do was look at the door and wonder what was wrong with that boy. Why je suddenly stopped, why he suddenly apologized, why he suddenly ran away.

Do monsters apologize?

He thought he had been afraid before, when someone broke into his house, when he found those cameras. He thought he had felt real panic. But nothing could compare to what Rin made him feel. The fear that spread through him was forever in his memory. The side of Rin he didn’t know, the side of Rin he made the other show.

With newfound tears, Haru cried again. He cried until his already aching head decided to finally rest and he fell asleep, with dreams of a gentle, caring and once harmless red-eyed boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it. The dark side of our redhead.  
> It's a very heavy theme and the language I used made me cringe every time, because it was such a bad, hostile and disrespectful speech. Omg, I'm sorry about that.  
> ALSO, IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> I don't know when I will have the time to write again, because college is returning soon, and I will be busier than ever. Don't expect it so soon, honeybuns hehe.  
> ;**


	10. The Past of a Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeey, I'm here agaaaain.  
> Sorry, Im late.  
> So, this chapter will be all about Rin's past, his pov, and the next one too. Because it was too long, I decided to divide into two chapters about Rin's past, so here's just half of it.  
> The next chapter will be his past and his decision on what to do next.  
> I hope you like it, bye bye ;*

_Rin’s pov_

I never cried much in my life. Even as a baby, my mom used to say I was such a good, grownup boy. She thought my lack of tears was something admirable, like that would make me the perfect son. A few years later, she changed her mind though.

Maybe it was because I felt numb to the world. Like everything around me didn’t include me, like I was just reading a story about a character named Rin. It wasn’t me in that body at all. I didn’t know that guy. I just… let him live. Eat, sleep, pretend to laugh.

When I told people how I felt they said it was sad, depressing, they felt sorry for me. Why was it depressing though? I never understood. I was perfectly fine. I never felt my life was sad this way. Other people decided that for me. Therefore, I just stopped complaining about it.

If someone asked me how I was feeling I would say I was happy, excited, nervous, sad… Even if I had no idea what those things meant. I mean, I knew emotions. I’ve watched TV, I’ve read them in books. I just… Never truly felt them. Not from the bottom of my heart, not strong enough to the point of putting me down on my knees, to the point of… putting tears on my face.

When I grew up, I started feeling some things though. Especially that night, when my father came home. Drunk. Angry. Disgusting.

He went straight to my mother, while the latter just told me to take my sister and keep her safe. I locked us both in my bedroom the whole night and sang for her, so she wouldn’t focus on the screaming and crying happening downstairs.

I saw Gou crying that night. It wasn’t the first time, far from that, I knew my baby sister was a crybaby so her tears were something I thought I was used to. But that night was different.

As I sang to my baby sister, holding her small frame in my arms and singing a soft lullaby, I felt a sting in my eyes. A knot in my throat. A hatred in my heart. Hatred for the man who made my baby girl cry, who made the woman who raised me scream downstairs.

But the tears never came.

Even if I felt my whole soul burning with spite for that man, even if I felt all the things people told me I would feel when I cried… I didn’t. I didn’t cry. Nothing wet on my cheeks, nothing blurry in my vision.

After that one night, I was truly convinced that I was incapable of shedding tears.

My father repeated that process a few nights across the years. Coming home drunk, beating up my mother, making my sister cry. And the hate I felt for him only grew, so did his alcoholism.

One night, while waiting up awake with my family for my father to come home –in case I needed to take my sister to my bedroom again-, he never came.

Instead, a friend of his came. When my mother opened the door, he took his hat off his head and his expression told me that he had news for us.

When my mother heard that her life partner had passed away, she kneeled. She clutched her chest. She cried. And the expression I saw on her face that night was the most heartbroken I have ever seen. Not even when my father would beat her up to the point where she couldn’t open her swollen eyes her expression was so pained.

I didn’t understand, and I think Gou didn’t either. I mean, I thought she would be happy. Relieved at least. But she cried so much. When I asked her why, she told me it was because she knew my father was mean to her, but she loved him anyway. She loved him enough to cry for him when he left her.

In his funeral, even my sister Gou cried, although I suspected she was crying because of my mother’s pain, not my father’s death. But me? I couldn’t even fake it. I couldn’t even go to his casket and pretend to weep my eyes, because the only expression I would show near that corpse was disgust.

I heard people in the village telling me afterwards I was heartless, cold. They said I was a psychopath. A monster for not crying on my own father’s funeral. And maybe I was, but I didn’t care much about it. If I didn’t even know who I was myself, then how could they? They had no right to judge me.

Only good things came out of his death. His heritance, for example.

He wasn’t a millionaire, but he had some money and family relics, and he decided to divide it all between me, my sister and my mother. I got a good share of it. Enough to live comfortably on my own for a few years. So that’s what I decided to do.

I never told my mother or my sister I was leaving, I just secretly packed my things, collected my part of the heritance and waited for them to be asleep. I didn’t say goodbye, and I knew I would probably regret that later in life, but, as always, I didn’t care.

When the house was dark and silent, I made my way to the front door. I was about to take the handle when I heard someone behind me, and there she was. In her bunny pajamas, in her messy bed hair and with a knowing and pained expression.

“…You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

I was. I was leaving and I would be lying if I told Gou I planned to come back one day. I was leaving because I couldn’t stand to be there anymore. With the pain, with the memories of that man. With my mother crying all the time about a man who didn’t love her, with the people around the village thinking I was a cold hearted psychopath and my father was a hero. I was selfishly running away.

I didn’t say anything, there was nothing to be said. Instead, I went to her and cupped her face with both of my hands. I looked at her eyes, her lips, her hair, her nose. I tried to memorize every little detail I could about my precious girl. Then, I leaned in and kissed her forehead.

The kiss may have lasted longer than I intended, may have held more feelings than I intended. I just wanted to memorize the feeling of her skin under my lips, the smell of her hair. And she knew it.

I knew she was balling her hands into fists to prevent herself from hugging me. Her pride wouldn’t allow that, even when I knew her heart was breaking in a million pieces. She was a strong girl. One day, she would be a strong woman and I would be the proudest brother in the world, even if I’m not there to see her.

I let her go. I turned around without uttering a word and made for the door. I opened it with certainty that she wouldn’t try to stop me. But before I went away, I heard her voice. So low, barely a whisper, a broken whisper.

“If you leave through that door, don’t you dare to come back.”

I left. I never came back.

The time I spent after that was a blur. I didn’t go to school, to work, to responsibilities. It was just partying, drowning my sorrows, dying slowly.

Around that time, I met Sousuke. The first person I could call a friend in my life. It seemed like he understood me, even if he was the only one that didn’t pressure me to know about my past. He just understood. Without words, explanations, reasons… He understood.

I also met Nitori. A small, fragile boy with stunning looks. I knew everyone desired him, everywhere he went the boy turned heads. He was perfect, he was a fallen angel. He seemed to be so pure, but at the same time so sexy. It was impossible not to look his way, not to be enchanted by his beauty.

With so many admirers, I was actually quite shocked when he approached me. He found me interesting, said it was something about my eyes, my aura. He said it was love at first sight.

He had a wonderful body, so I didn’t hesitate to fuck him or make out with him. He was also a really nice and charismatic person, so there was never a time of awkward silence when he was around. He was inhumanly patient and understating, every time I would scream at him because I was annoyed, he would never fight back. He would just quietly wait for me to calm down and then appear with a cup of tea, a pat on the back, a shoulder to lean on.

After a while, I moved in with him. We were dating, it seemed pretty solid and that way I didn’t have to pay rent anymore. But I think I did it mostly because he insisted and I wasn’t in the mood to fight. Life was good that way too.

He was perfect in so many ways, and I knew I didn’t deserve him. I knew I wasn’t right for him, but he insisted on wanting me by his side. I stayed because I was selfish. If I had thought about him more, I would’ve left him to find someone better, but I didn’t. He satisfied my needs, so I didn’t mind bonding him to me. Until that night, that is.

That night we had one of the best sex of our lives. We were totally satiated and just laid there, side by side, panting and looking at the ceiling. And then, totally out of the blue, he said those words.

“I love you, Rin.”

And I realized I couldn’t say it back. I didn’t love him. I didn’t love the perfect, immaculate being by my side. He was all anyone could ever want, he was everything, he never had one single flaw in my eyes. But I didn’t love him.

He also realized that I couldn’t say it back, and he didn’t push me. I knew he was heartbroken by it, but he never showed it. He never pressured me to love him back. That’s the kind of person he was. Everything I didn’t deserve.

One week later, I decided to run away again. I was running away because I didn’t belong in that place, in the arms of a man I didn’t love. I didn’t belong in the bed of a person I was lying to. I was not my father.

But, even so, I never did it for him. I didn’t leave because I wanted Nitori to be happy. I left because I wanted to be free, to be somewhere where I knew I could stay for the rest of my life. I left because I was looking for an anchor, an anchor that I knew was somewhere in the world. And Nitori wasn’t it.

I waited for him to fall asleep, lying on the bed by his side. When he did, I took one last glance at him. His long eyelashes, his delicate features, his soft perfect hair. I wanted to remember that person. In the end, he was a good friend, a good lover. He almost made it to my heart.

I stood up and picked up my bags. I opened the door, ready to leave the room. But, before I did, something compelled me to look back at the bed, and I saw him. He wasn’t sleeping anymore.

Instead, he was staring back at me, unmoving on the same position he was before. However, I could see, even in the dim light of the bedroom, that he was crying. He didn’t make a sound, but the tears streaming silently down his cheeks didn’t lie.

“If you leave through that door, don’t you dare to come back.”

And, for the second time in my life, I left. I never came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. Thanks for reading. Until next chaaaap <3


	11. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY  
> IM NOT DEAD  
> I SWEAR  
> huahushuahsuahshas  
> I took so long, I know. But I was busy and with no inspiration at all. Plus, I think my english has been getting bad lately? Like, I havent been reading as many thinks in english as I used to, so I feel like I am starting to unlearn the language? hahaha  
> This chapter is crappy and short and all kinds of awful things. But I decided to post it anyways because it had been so long and I didnt want you guys to think I had abandoned this fic.  
> Im sorry if it's a bad chapter, ok? Bear with me for a while, the real action is coming soon. This chapter was written to clear some doubts people were having about Rin and stuff, but what happens next in the present will be in the next chapter.

**_Rin’s pov – Flashback continuation_ **

My life then turned into nothing. More nothing than it already was. The parties and the pretending, it didn’t seem appealing to me anymore. After I left Nitori and my past self (again), I wasn’t alive anymore, I was just… surviving.

Before, I would go out all the time, even if just to forget my existence, but now… Now, not even that was enough. It was just fake, deceiving myself with false emotions, trying to feel what everyone called happiness.

It was a lie.

And that realization hurt like a bitch.

I was tired of trying to be normal, to be sociable. Pretending to be just another common teenager was exhausting. Because of that, I settled for spending my days near the only thing that really mattered.

The sea.

I always loved the sea. The village I grew up in was close to the sea and, whenever I was feeling like I couldn’t breathe, which became quite often along the years, I would just run to the beach. I would look at the waters. I would bathe in its waves. I would feel it washing all my sins away.

Therefore, it was the only place I could call home at the moment. It was the only thing I had left. And no, I wasn’t complaining, I loved the sea, even if I still felt empty all the time.

I was always empty. However, it was hard missing something I didn’t know what it was, so I couldn’t exactly pinpoint why I was feeling like there was a void inside of me, eating me away.

After sometime, I began to resign and accept the idea that I would never be whole. I would always be missing something, something I would never find out what it was. This feeling was a part of me already.

So I spent my days just watching the sea, the only redemption I had. The water, so peaceful, reminding me of everything I wasn’t.

Until this one day, when everything changed, even if I didn’t realize it right away.

He was there. I was just watching the waters and suddenly, there was someone in there, swimming like there was no tomorrow. I was so ready to be annoyed at this person, ruining my view, but… I discovered an even better view.

I had no idea who it was. But it swam like a mermaid. Or maybe a dolphin. It swam like the water itself. It belonged. It was everything I was not. It was everything I wanted to be. That person had found its home in the water, in the depths of the place I could only look at and find a tiny bit of peace everyday.

When he got out of the water, I realized it was a boy. And, if I hadn’t looked so closely or payed so much attention, he would just go unnoticed. Just another high school boy, handsome and with delicate features, yes, but pretty common. Boys like him you could find a dozen nowadays.

But no…

He wasn’t just another pretty boy. He was so, so much more than that. He had an abysm in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but fall in it. He had a void instead of an aura, and that was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Not to mention the raw passion he showed so carelessly every time he was one with the water. As if he didn’t know someone could fall deeply in love for his being.

That boy, he was a rare gem. Someone who had no idea how mesmerizing and enticing his presence could be. How he could make everyone look his way just by being in the area. He was truly a work of art. The most beautiful I had ever seen.

Before I realized, he was the sole reason I would go to the beach. The sea didn’t appear so appealing anymore. The sea was just background for the main attraction, the reason I would get up every day and walk on that scalding sand.

He never noticed me, which was expected, really. He didn’t seem the type to care about his surroundings so much and, unfortunately, I was included. I was nothing in his vision, he probably never even realized I existed in the same world as he did. All the mattered to him every time he went to the beach was his home. The sea.

Honestly, I realized I became a little… jealous of the sea? The water was everything he ever looked at, and I could only dream of having those amazing sapphires gazing my way someday. I wished he could look my way and see how badly he had caught me. I was his. Completely. And he didn’t even know.

Everyday, I would go there and wait for him. If he didn’t appear, there was no reason to stay. The sea wasn’t enough of a motive anymore. It just mocked me now for being a fool in love.

But I was happy.

Yes, happy. I could finally use that word. Because, for the first time in my life, I found a place to come back to. In this case, a person. An anchor. A reason to wake up. I found everything I didn’t know what it was.

I wasn’t a walking void anymore. Because of him, I had dreams. I had a purpose. I had a smile on my face when I woke up, and a shine in my eyes when I would see him. I had a beating heart I could finally acknowledge.

I was alive.

All because of him.

Until that day, when my world came tumbling down.

It was the first time he was not alone. It was the first time his attention was not on the sea. It was the first time I felt emotions burning so deep inside my being, making me want to tear my skin off, just to get rid of the devastating fire that threatened to choke my soul.

I didn’t know who the other boy was at the time. Hell, I didn’t even know who the blue eyed boy was then. Because it never mattered, I was happy only having a glimpse of him everyday.

I wasn’t greedy, you know. If he only existed, I would be the happiest person in the world. I didn’t need to know his name, his address, his family or whatever. I had seen the most important part of him, his soul. His raw self, every time he would dive in those waves, I could see him as clear as day. It was enough for me.

But the other boy? The green eyed one? With those kind eyes and broad shoulders, pretending to be Mr. Perfect in front of the world? How could he be the one to whom my love would give his attention?

I was fine sharing him with the water, seeing as it was the water who brought us together by making me able to see the deepest parts of him. But this guy, so pathetically coming into his life, like he was worthy of the presence of my beloved?

I couldn’t take it.

He was mine. Only mine. And no, I couldn’t, I WOULDN’T, share him with anyone.

After that, I decided that, if I wanted my prince to be in my arms, I would have to know the game. I couldn’t just sit there in the beach every day and hope for a miracle to happen, because for the first time in my life I felt like fighting for something. In this case, my happiness.

I stalked him, yes. And it was the best decision I could ever make. If I had thought he was impressive before, then after seeing him in all kinds of situations I just felt myself falling even deeper.

He was just an incognita. He was a puzzle, all the time, and I couldn’t wait to solve. For everyone he looked like a boring boy, with nothing important to say and not many facial expressions, but for me? He had so many faces, so many sides of him, so many shades…. I needed to know them all.

I discovered after a lot of researching in his personal life that he and the green eyed boy were only friends. Best friends even, but nothing more. Haru never saw the other as a potential partner. In fact, he never saw anyone as a romantic partner.

But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t happy with that. I thought that discovering there was nothing going on between the two of them would ease my mind, but I was wrong. Haru was still looking at other people, talking to them, paying attention to them.

I couldn’t accept it.

Haru was mine. I saw his soul, I fell in love with it. And no one other than me should ever even have a glimpse of it. He was totally mine, and I wouldn’t allow him to belong to anyone else.

I realized that, contrary to what I first believed, it wasn’t enough to just see him anymore. I needed to touch him and possess him too. But it wasn’t enough to touch him and possess him either. I needed to be the only one to do those things.

I didn’t want Haru out there, interacting to anyone. He was supposed to me mine, and mine only.

I would make sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. I'm sorry it was so rushed and everything. The next chapter the story will continue, and we will see what happens to Haru.  
> I wrote this to clear some doubts, I hope it makes things less confusing from now on haha  
> Kisses, till next time ;*


	12. The Selfish One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys o/ No, I am not dead. I was just slightly uninspired.  
> But now I am back with, what I am happy to announce, is the penultimate chapter of this fanfiction. The next one will be the last and that will be my goodbye D:  
> I worked really hard on this chapter. I dont know if you guys will like it, but I personally did, I think I was able to use my words efficiently. But tell me what you think, any advice would be helpful.  
> Ahh... In the end notes there's a message that, well, has nothing to do with the story, but if you guys wanna interact more, well, I told a little about myself in there. Read if you have interest ^^  
> So, lets go to the chapter o/

**Author’s pov – End of Flashback**

It had been days, it had been weeks. Maybe a couple of months too? It was impossible to tell, for both of them actually.

Haru, being the prisoner he was, could not even tell day from night. Rin, being the tormented soul he had always been, could not care less about time. Years and centuries could pass before his eyes and he wouldn’t even care. The only thing to care about was in his basement, crying because it had been hurt by the redhead’s cruel hands.

If only time could go backwards, wouldn’t it be wonderful?

Then, maybe the redhead would have asked Haru out. He would have introduced himself as a problematic teenager with a tad bit of hope, he would have been honest. He would buy a cup of coffee for Haru, just to hear from the other that he didn’t like coffee. Then, he would buy a dish of mackerel for Haru, that would be their first date. They would go swimming together in a random nearby water fountain.

Now it was too late. Because of Rin’s sick mind, things didn’t happened that way. Because his thoughts consumed him, because his feelings were like explosions, he couldn’t _feel_ like a normal person. He obsessed, he felt possessive. He screwed up.

But he was going to make that right. For once, if his twisted self allowed, he would be the man Haru deserved. He would make things right, like a normal person. Like a good person.

He walked down the last steps to the basement and stood still in front of the door for several minutes. He wasn’t sure if Haru knew he was at the other side of the door, but if he somehow did: _would he be scared?_

He should.

After what happened, Rin wouldn’t blame the other if he was shaking at the mere thought of his presence. He deserved.

He should’ve learned his lesson really. Monsters are not meant to be loved. His father was a fortunate exception, but he was not his father. Two kinds of the same monster, how ironic.

When he opened the door, Haru was awake, sitting on the bed but facing the other side of the room. It would always be like this since that day. Everytime he came, Haru would turn his back at him and he had started to miss those blue eyes, he hadn’t seen them in so long.

He had stopped making small talk too, it seemed pointless and pathetic at this point. Haru wouldn’t answer, and if he somehow did, it would be out of fear. That would break Rin’s heart.

They stayed in silence for several minutes. Haru was aware of the other’s presence, but he didn’t move a muscle to acknowledge him in the room, he assumed Rin just came to leave him his tray of food and go away like he always did.

But no, today was different.

“Haru…”

The said boy flinched when he heard his own name, but didn’t make any further movements. He just stayed still, like the apathetic teenager he had been his whole life.

“Haru, I want to talk to you… Please, it’s very important.”

At the lack of response, Rin sighed. He was expecting that already, really. He sat on the bed too, but at the other side, far away from Haru, their backs facing each other.

He wouldn’t look at the blue eyed boy either, because the words about to come out of his mouth were fragile. If he stared at the boy, maybe he would give up, maybe he would never say what he wanted and he wouldn’t be the man he was trying to be.

“I… am a very selfish person.”

Haru scoffed at that, sarcastically, but it was the only reaction he showed, after that he went back to staying still like a statue.

It was ok, Rin would continue.

“When I was younger and my father died, my mother and my sister were broken. They had no one and I was the only man at home, the only one who could provide for them.”

_What the fuck was he talking about?_ Haru couldn’t understand. He just came here to talk about his family and his life? Was he thinking Haru was some kind of psychologist? Or maybe he wanted the raven haired boy to take pity on him by telling some sad story?

Well, that wasn’t going to happen. Haru didn’t want to know what kind of tragedies led Rin to be like this. His pain did not give him the right to cause pain to others.

“But I left.”

Ok, that was a plot twist Haru wasn’t expecting.

“One night, I looked into my sister crying eyes, I kissed her goodbye and I left. I don’t know how they are now, if they are starving, alive or dead, I never went back to check on them. I loved them, but because I’m selfish, as long as I was ok, everything would be fine. So I left.”

The silence returned for a few minutes after that. Haru thought that maybe it was a hard subject for Rin and he was trying to compose himself or something, but no. Rin didn’t feel a thing. He wasn’t holding back his tears or anything, he was just quiet for long minutes until he decided to continue.

“Then, I met my best friend. He helped me and understood me more than anyone ever had. He stayed with me in my most miserable times and I said I would forever be grateful to him. But, on night, I left. I never called to let him know I was leaving, never said where I was going. I just left him behind, wondering what the fuck happened to me. To this day, he still is my best friend, but I left him.”

What was Rin doing? Haru thought he was going to tell some sad story about how life was unfair with him, but all he was hearing was about how much of a jerk Rin was. The wasn’t hearing about Rin’s pain, but about how Rin caused pain to other people, people who loved and trusted him. _What was he trying to do with this?_

“At the time, I also met my first real boyfriend. He was an awesome person. He was fun, kind, beautiful, charming… he was everything someone could ever want. He loved me so much, he told me so. He did everything to stay by my side, he even agreed to live together and sustain me. But I left him. I never said I loved him back, I just left him there, crying alone on the bed we used to share. Never even explained why I was leaving.”

Haru was so confused, why was Rin telling him all of this? He could never decipher the boy and this time was no different. Everyone always talked about how Haru was weird, how he was an incognita, but that people definitely never met Rin.

“And you know what was the weirdest thing? I never cried. Shit would just rain on my life, day after day, and I would give up on anything that could ever make me happy one day, but even so, I never cried. Never shed one tear, and because of that people used to say I was cold hearted. A psychopath. All kinds of things. But I knew that, deep down, I just didn’t have a good enough reason to cry…”

And, if Haru had taken the time to turn around and face the story telling boy, he would see it. A single lonely tear escaping those ruby prisons and streaming down his face. So beautifully brave.

It was the first tear to come, the one people said would never exist. There it was, the drop of sadness, seeing the light of day for the first time after being imprisoned in Rin’s dark soul for so long.

But Rin, although he could feel it, didn’t pay attention to it. He was finally crying, so what? He already knew it would happen. Because Haru was involved, that’s why he was able to feel.

“Because I have accepted that I am selfish a long time ago, I also accepted that my satisfaction would always have to come first. Other people would always be on the background, what mattered was what I wanted. And when I first saw you, I wanted you. I wanted you so badly like I had never wanted anything in my life. I wanted you so much, it was the only thing my heart had ever truly desired. So, I decided I would have you.”

The second tear came down, and the third, and the fourth. However, Rin didn’t make a sound, even with the overflowing pain silently cascading down his cheeks.

“That was a hard thing to do, actually. Especially because my feelings were a mess. I was always a mess when it came to you. I remember the first time I saw you sleeping on the same bed as Makoto. I was so angry, hurt, scared, desperate…  I just punched the wall until my knuckles bled and my hands almost broke, but that pain could never be compared to the pain in my heart. I didn’t care though, it didn’t matter how hard it was to have you, because just the thought of your delicate body in my arms was enough to get me through another day.”

An innocent smile made its way to Rin’s face…  A soft dreamy expression, all because of Haru.

“Because of you, I was able to know happiness. I never understood what it was and the definitions people would give in lame books were never enough. I thought it was just a myth actually, I thought it was just a moment of excitement that people would confuse for something bigger and more meaningful. But then I met you and I realized ‘happiness’ couldn’t be more real. I felt it myself every time your eyes would shine when you dove into the water. When your stomach would subtly growl at the sight of mackerel. When the bell would ring and you would be so excited to finally go home and soak in the bathtub, even if people thought you weren’t in a rush to leave the school, because you were always so slow to pack your stuff.”

Rin laughed softly at those memories. He was so happy at those times, those little almost imperceptible times. It wasn’t anything big or important, but it could put a smile on Rin’s face for a week.

Rin’s face, so joyful just by remembering those things about Haru, suddenly turned sour then. The smile disappeared and a pained expression took place, because the next words were like a stab right through his so called ‘stone heart’.

“I brought you here so I could enjoy these moments all the time. With you all by myself, I could see all sides of you, I could have those little precious moments and so much more. But… It didn’t happen that way. You stopped being happy and, somehow, I stopped too. Those moments became memories and I was left with nothing but pain. Pain because you were getting hurt, because you were sad.”

A sob finally erupted from Rin’s throat and that caught Haru’s attention. The raven haired turned around shocked, only to see Rin’s back sitting on the bed, hunched over and shaking from the crying that now became loud enough to be noticeable.

_But… Rin said he couldn’t cry… So why?_

Haru remained silent, only watching Rin’s pain and waiting for him to say what he wanted, because Haru knew the other wasn’t done. He didn’t came here just to tell this. He wasn’t crying his heart out just because of those few words.

“I finally realized what is happiness. I can only be happy when you are happy, Haru. During those little times that meant the world for me, you were happy. Because of that, I was happy. Realizing that was at the same time the most painful and the most beautiful thing I have ever done in my lilfe.”

Rin sighed heavily. It was just too much, those destructive emotions that burned inside of him were finally being let out. He was finally crying and that was so confusing, because the sensation was suffocating and soothing at the same time. It was like being free and being destroyed, it was a mess.

He loved that mess.

It was all because of Haru. The reason he could finally tell his heart was beating without needing to put a hand on his chest, the wetness on his cheeks, the explosion inside his being. It was all because of Haru.

Rin stood up from the bed, still not facing Haru, and composed himself. Haru’s eyes were still following his every movement, still shocked from the raw emotions Rin just so carelessly showed.

When he turned around, Haru was speechless.

Rin was smiling. It was so beautiful and at the same time… so broken.

Rin was beautiful and the pain he was letting out, the pain that was consuming the room, it was a side of him Haru never thought he had. It was a human side.

“I am a very selfish person, Haru. My happiness always has to come first. That’s why…” Rin walked over to the door of the room and opened it. “Please, go home. Dive in a pool. Stay under the rain. Talk with your friends. Be happy…”. Rin never knew leaving someone could hurt this much. But then again, the people he left behind, none of them were Haru. “And maybe then I can smile again…”

Haru couldn’t believe his own ears. The words coming out of Rin’s mouth were shocking, he didn’t know what to do. He was free? Rin was crying? What was this hurricane of emotions running inside of him?

_He was finally free so… Why did he feel like crying?_

He was frozen and couldn’t move a muscle, it was all too much.

Rin couldn’t stand to be there, he couldn’t stand to watch as Haru went away. He was already falling apart. Therefore, he left the room, left Haru alone in there to make his own decision.

Rin walked out of the room like he had always been doing these last months… The only difference was that this time he didn’t lock the door behind his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I am writing this right now, and I don't know if you guys care or not (it's ok if you don't, really, haha) but I am feeling great these past few days.   
> The beginning of the month was being really stressful for me and I was having harmful thoughts... Two weeks ago I self-harmed, which is something I hadn't done in years, so I was really bad. I was under so much pressure because of college and I was crying everyday before I slept.   
> But things worked out in college and now I am not under so much stress as before. I am able to think clearly and have fun with my friends. Two days ago I went to the amusement park with my best friend, and I had never gone to one before in my life. I was really happy, we had so much fun and I slept at her house. We went to sleep at like 9 am and laughed a lot haha.  
> I am just sharing this because I am actually happy and, honestly, I don't know the day of tomorrow, I dont know how long it will last, so I wanted to register it here. I wanted people to know that right now, at this very moment, I am happy.  
> Thanks for reading and being here with me. I apologize for any grammar mistakes and I want you to have a wonderful week, you beautiful human being \o/


	13. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER!!!  
> Hi.  
> So, this was supposed to be the last chapter, I know. But it turned out that I wrote too much and it was too long to be in just one chapter, so I decided to split it in two.  
> I'm just warning because the ending of this chapter is kind of disappointing, and if it was the end of the fanfiction I know you guys wouldnt like it haha.  
> But yeah, I'm sorry I took so long, I've been dealing with writers block a lot latelly, I haven't been able to decently write anything, so I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit messed up ;s I was not totally satisfied with it, because it seemed like the more I read, the more confusing it was getting e-e But I had taken to long to write it already, so I decided to rush it and post it anyway, I'm sorry. haha  
> But, that's it. Hope this chapter clears some of your doubts.

It was an opportunity Haru couldn’t pass up.

He was caged for God knows how long and now he finally had a chance to see the world through his own eyes, and not through beautiful words Rin would occasionally say during one of their many unilateral conversations.

He needed to feel the rain falling on his face, he needed to dive in a pool and stay underwater for as long as his lungs could manage. He needed to soak in his bathtub and think about life until his fingers turned wrinkled. He needed to go to school with Makoto and have meaningless conversations with his stupid friends on the rooftop.

He needed to feel happy.

Because of that, even if his heart was pained for some reason, he ran towards the door. He figured his way out of the maze of rooms and hallways inside Rin’s house until he finally found the front door. He not once dared to look back, scared that it could all be a sick joke and he wasn’t really being freed.

However, Rin never tried to stop him. Haru was out of the house in no time, breathing a huge gulp of air, feeling the wind hit him in the face and remind him of just how beautiful is the outside world.

Haru ran. He didn’t even know where he was running to, but he ran. He ran until his lungs were on fire, but he didn’t care about it. He liked it, actually. He liked to feel the burning on his muscles and feel like he couldn’t breathe, because that reminded him that he was alive and free, that he had survived.

It reminded him that this was not the end.

Somewhere along all the running he did, Haru found himself in front of his own house. He had no idea that was the place his feet were leading him to, he just went there out of instinct, but now he was happy he did. He was happy he still knew his way back home.

Surprisingly, his front door wasn’t locked. Haru wondered if it had stayed that way during all the time he was away and he hoped not, or else it would had been extremely easy to be robbed. He didn’t dwell too much on it, though. He would have time to worry about everything else later, but now he needed to wrap his mind around what was going on in his life.

Was he really free? It was like a dream, he was scared he would suddenly wake up and find himself inside Rin’s basement again.

Taking careful steps, Haru entered his house, afraid of what he might find. It was one of the many irrational fears Rin planted on his mind.

Nothing seemed out of place, it was all just like he had always left it. That is, until Haru went up to his own bedroom.

Everything was neat at first glance, not a single thing misplaced, but then Haru noticed something laying on top of his bed. A single bag with a paper beside it. He didn’t recognize the object as being his, so Haru immediately stayed on guard.

He cautiously approached the foreign thing, scared that it had anything to do with Rin. The thought of someone else having invaded his house didn’t even cross his mind, like a normal person would. He had bigger issues in his hands, all of them concerning the fear a certain redhead implanted on him.

He opened the bag first. It could be something dangerous for all he knew, although he doubted that.

Clothes. His own clothes, to be more specific. He opened the bag to find lots of purple swimsuits, old shirts and pants, all of them belonging to Haru himself.

He found it so weird, what would his own clothes be doing outside of his closet, inside a foreign bag on top of his bed? Nonetheless, he knew Rin had something to do with it. Haru came to accept the fact that Rin always had something to do with everything.

A shiver ran down his spine. With shaking hands and a hasty heartbeat, he reached for the note. The delicate paper lying beside the bag, the too innocent handwriting impressed on it that Haru knew could belong to no other than the redhead.

He read it once. Twice. And obsession could possibly make him read it for the rest of his life, had him not stopped himself. But those words didn’t change.

Haru always thought Rin would be one for long speeches and big meaningful words, but the letters on that paper seemed to disagree.

_I’m sorry. I love you._

_~Rin_

Those words were so simple but somehow Haru felt them piercing through his soul, eating away at his feelings. Why would Rin write something like that? Maybe if he had written a whole speech, then Haru would get fed up in the middle of those pathetic excuses and just hate him, but _these words_? These words were tearing him apart.

No.

Haru needed to be strong. Rin was his enemy, his kidnapper, his stalker, his worst nightmare. It didn’t matter the reasons why he did it, if he really thought Haru was his salvation or even if he was sorry in the end.

Rin was a bad guy. That’s all Haru needed to know.

Even if his heart was breaking in pieces.

He just ignored it. There were things that needed his immediate attention, such as his own life. Haru had no idea what had happened while he was gone. Had his friends looked for him? Called the police? It didn’t seem like people went searching for him in his house, so Haru was even more confused.

He checked the time on the clock on his bedside table, just to situate himself in the real world, and he was baffled to know it was exactly time for him to go to school.

Which left him with even more doubts. Had no one at school noticed that he was gone? Even if Rin had lied to his friends, how would the school not notice his absence or call his parents?

There were more questions than answers, so, even if Haru wanted to enjoy his freedom with a good soaking in the bathtub, he needed to be at peace. He needed to know everything was fine, the same way it was before he was kidnapped.

Without bothering to change his clothes –which were a plain old shirt and sweatpants given to him by Rin –Haru ran out of the house. He was headed to school, where he would, hopefully, meet his friends and get his answers.

His lungs were burning again while he ran towards his destination, but this time it wasn’t because of the physical exhaustion. He was scared. Scared to meet his friends, scared of what they knew. The outside world seemed so different, maybe because he was caged for so long.

When he could already see the school, his heartbeat quickened. He was almost hyperventilating, maybe from fear or from excitement. The feelings were all mixed up inside of him, reminding Haru of the mess Rin made in his soul.

“…Haru?” A familiar voice asked behind him.

True to his suspicions, turning around Haru found Makoto, who was staring at him at the same time confused and surprised. Behind Makoto, Haru noticed, there were Rei and Nagisa, probably having just arrived at school, and both of them appeared to be just as surprised.

Haru had no reaction. He didn’t know what to do or think of the situation, considering he was gone so long and he didn’t know what his friends knew about what happened. He didn’t need to think too deeply about it though, because –as expected –Nagisa was the first one to break the atmosphere.

“HARU-CHAN!” The blonde jumped on Haru and hugged him tightly, wrapping his little legs around the raven’s body for support. “You’re back! I’m so glad you’re back! Omo, Why didn’t you tell us you were coming back!?”

Haru, again, didn’t know what to answer.

It was clear his friends had no idea what happened to him. They were too calm about the situation, going to school like nothing had happened and didn’t seem worried about Haru’s state. It was obvious Rin planned some lie to disguise the real event that took place, Haru just didn’t know what.

For some reason, he decided to keep quiet. It wasn’t in his personality anyway to just start screaming about what happened to him and accusing Rin –although the redhead was indeed to blame.

“It´s good to have you back, Haruka-senpai. I admit, it was a little sudden, so we were kind of… disappointed, but you must have had your reasons.” Rei completed with his cool voice and a small smile gracing his lips while patting Haru on the back.

“…My…Reasons…?” Haru couldn’t figure out what his friends were thinking just by the things they were saying.

Looking around, he saw the happy smiles on his friends’ faces, except one. Makoto was looking at him strangely. There was pain in his eyes and a little bit of sadness and it made Haru feel desperate because he knew that, whatever it was that Rin told them, had broken Makoto’s heart.

“..Why? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving…?” Makoto’s voice was low, probably to hide the pain that filled it. The atmosphere surrounding them suddenly changed when they all realized Makoto was more affected by Haru’s appearance than what everyone first thought. “I mean, I know you wanted to spare us from unnecessary pain and everything, but… I don’t know… You really couldn’t have warned me before? Just so I could tell you goodbye…?”

Haru was at a loss for words. It was starting to make sense in his head whatever his friends were thinking that happened, but he wasn’t completely sure. Before he could stop himself –because de wasn’t one to beat around the bush –Haru found himself asking:

“What… exactly have you heard?”

Makoto seemed a little taken aback by that question, but he didn’t find it strange. He was asking for some sort of explanation after all and telling Haru what he knew and how he felt was the best way to get it.

In the background, the school bell rang, indicating that there was no more time to waste before going to class. Rei, although he was happy about the return of his senpai, didn’t want to skip classes and decided to go, dragging a whining Nagisa with him. Nagisa wanted to stay more with Haru, but he knew that Makoto needed a time alone with him, so he didn’t complain too much about leaving them alone.

Makoto didn’t even pay attention to it, didn’t even break eye contact with Haru, choosing to stay behind with the raven haired.

“Nothing much, unfortunately. I just went to your house one day and discovered that all of your things were gone and you only left a note saying that from now on you would live with your parents. I thought it was strange and got desperate, thinking you had been kidnapped or something, but it seemed it was only me who thought that way. The school already knew about you leaving, you messaged Rei, Rin and Nagisa too, and even called my house when I was gone to tell my family you were leaving. It seemed like you were trying your best to avoid me, so I was really sad about it, but then Rin explained me how you told him it would be better and less painful that way. How you thought cutting ties quickly would be for the best. Well, for your information, it wasn’t less painful at all.”

Makoto said it all in one go, all the while holding back his tears from falling. His bottom lip was trembling slightly and Haru could see his pained expression, but the green-eyed boy refused to cry. He had done that too much already.

Haru finally understood a little bit of what happened while he was gone.

It seemed Rin had planned it all so well, Haru wondered how much time he had been preparing all of this. Kidnapping Haru, pretending that he went to live with his parent –which no one would question, since they knew their distant relationship and wouldn’t find Haru’s desire to get closer strange -, even going as far as calling all of the people around him to warn them about his departure, taking all the precautions to sound like the real Haru. Rin even took extra caution with Makoto, the most probable person to recognize his lie. The redhead even continued going to school and interacting normally with people just to not raise any suspicion.

As realization hit him, Haru was left too dumbstruck to think clearly. The words that left his mouth felt like an automatic response.

“I’m sorry…” Was all he could say moments before the raven-haired was enveloped in a tight hug from Makoto, his green-eyed best friend.

The taller cried on his shoulder, finally letting go of his tears and mumbling about how he missed Haru. The latter, on the other hand, just lightly hugged his friend back and murmured things to console him, trying to ease away the other’s pain.

Haru decided it was better to just forget everything that happened. Not start anew, but resume his old life. All of his routine, just like how it was before a certain redhead happened.

The only thing that could disturb his plans was Rin. Haru didn’t know what to say or how to face him when they finally meet again, so that left the blue-eyed boy more anxious than it should. Haru couldn’t help but fear the future when he would have to confront Rin outside of the basement’s walls. However, it turned out his worries were useless, because he never had that opportunity.

Rin disappeared.

The following days, Rin never went to school. Unlike Haru, he didn’t bother to create a lie to mask his vanishing, he didn’t even contact anyone. His friends were worried and talked about it all the time, but they realized they were never close enough to Rin to even know where the boy lived. There was nothing they could do.

They waited for weeks and Rin didn’t come back nor people were pointing him as a missing person, so the subject died down. They assumed Rin didn’t have any obligation to tell them whatsoever if he was leaving, they didn’t know each other that much.

Haru didn’t say a word, and this fact surprised even himself. Even though he knew why Rin was gone, even though now there was nothing stopping him from telling everyone he was kidnapped, he didn’t. He just kept to himself and pretended to be just as clueless as everyone else. He even supported Rin’s lie by telling everyone that he indeed went to see his parents, but it didn’t work out for them to live together, so he came back.

All the while, though, he had no clue why he was doing that. Inside his mind, Haru tried to convince himself he was just paying back Rin for being kind enough to set him free. It was twisted in many ways, since he was not supposed to be caged to begin with, but it was the only explanation he could come up with for his behavior.

As the weeks went by, Haru thought it would be easier to forget everything. Rin was no longer around, so he could live his old life like it used to be and not worry about anything. But that didn’t happen.

Haru found himself worried about Rin. Where he was, what he was doing, if he was fine or if he was even alive. He didn’t want to have those kind of thoughts, but it was out of his hands. More often than not, he found himself thinking about red hair and the most beautiful pair of ruby eyes he had ever seen.

When it reached the fourth month since Rin’s departure, Haru decided that it was enough. He had to face the fact that the redhead wouldn’t come back, ever again. He let Haru go out of his own free will, he wouldn’t do that if he planned on meeting or capturing him again.

Admitting that was the same as losing all hope for Haru. And, even though he would never admit it, it broke his heart.

It hurt, knowing that he was thrown away by someone who swore would always love him and be by his side. These were his darkest thoughts, the ones he would never admit aloud, not even for himself. He didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that he missed the redhead, as twisted as it might sound.

Maybe if he only knew where Rin was at the moment, if he was well, alive, happy…  Maybe that would ease his heart. He didn’t feel observed anymore, so he somehow knew that Rin wasn’t around, and that left him even more desperate. He just wanted to know if Rin was alright.

But he was never the predator was he? Rin always got too close to him, Rin knew every single part of Haru’s being, it was never the other way around.

Haru didn’t have the right to miss someone he let go.

With that in mind, he spent his days. Going back to his old routine, pretending everything was fine. Maybe, if he pretended well enough, it would become true.

Slowly, he was starting to get over it.

He still remembered the redhead, it still hurt to think about how they parted ways with unresolved feelings and problems, but Haru was managing to live with that. In a few more years, maybe Rin’s memory would be just a faint echo of a past he no longer wanted to have anything to do with.

It would work out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO..... ABOUT THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> the next chapter is the last one, I promise. This time is for real ahushauhsas  
> Ok, hope you guys enjoyed so far and see you in the next chapter (for the last time D: )  
> Bye, kisses ;**


	14. See you again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, FELLOW MATES!  
> Here I am, after a long time of delaying the last fucking chapter (~~is it too late now to say sorry?).  
> I was really busy with college and stuff, sorry, hadnt even realized it had been so long.  
> BUT NOW HERE I AM! AND I BROUGHT THE LAST CHAPTER WITH ME!  
> Uhuuuul!  
> As promised, it wont let any of my babies suffer, so it's a good ending <3  
> Enjoy!

Nagisa insisted that they needed it. A bonding time.

Rei complained, Makoto agreed and Haru kept silent. He wasn’t opposed to it, but he also couldn’t say he was overly excited like a certain blonde.

It had been six months since all of them saw Rin for the last time. Haru was the only one still keeping count of that, even though he had given up hope a long time ago. Rin wasn’t coming back and, aside from the blue eyed boy, everyone was fine with that.

Nagisa managed to have his way in the end, dragging all of his friends to an arcade on a Saturday after they had lunch together. They spent the whole afternoon playing, even Haru couldn’t resist. They played, and joked, and laughed, and, in the end, Nagisa was right. It was the best bonding time they had in a long time.

It was time for the sunset, when the sky turned all kinds of pink and orange, when Rei suggested they went to the park. There, they could sit on the benches and watch the colorful sky turning dark while wasting time on meaningless conversations.

There was a fountain in the center of the park, which made everyone worried, but Haru assured them he wouldn’t try to swim in it. He was too tired for that. His contact with water for the day would be when he went home and took a long nice bath.

Ever since Rin vanished, everything just seemed more… dull. More than it used to be, at least. The little things Haru found solace on weren’t enough anymore. He still loved water, swimming and mackerel, but it felt different. The world felt tasteless and, somehow, even if he would admit it to himself, Haru knew the cause of that.

They sat on a bench a little far away from anyone else, which gave them a little privacy to talk about all kinds of nothing. They started chatting like always, with Nagisa doing the most part of the conversation, discussing with Rei and getting scolded by Makoto, while Haru just kept being his usual quiet self.

In the middle of the conversation, Haru excused himself. He said he needed to go to the bathroom and nobody questioned him. Not even Makoto, even thought, by the look he gave the raven haired, he knew it was a lie.

Haru didn’t go to the bathroom. Instead, he decided to take a stroll among the trees.

He was not a nature lover, you see. He just needed time for himself. The melancholic sky made his mind travel to places he didn’t want to wander and he couldn’t help but become a little affected by it. He couldn’t give himself the opportunity to dwell on those unwanted feelings, it wasn’t good for his sanity.

He liked to spend time with his friends. Nagisa, Rei and Makoto, he cherished all of them, and that day was something that they would always remember, as it marked an important event on their relationship. However, he desperately needed some time alone.

Haru walked for only a few minutes. As mentioned, he wasn’t a fan of nature and the sweat that was starting to form on his body was becoming uncomfortable. Because of that, he settled to sit on a nearby bench, a little further from where his friends or everyone else was, even more isolated.

It was dark and he was the only one there, and it might be a little bit intimidating, but it was exactly what Haru wanted. Sometime alone with himself and his sorrows.

It was that dangerous time when his conscience seemed to decide torturing him, reminding the boy of his life choices and always highlighting that, even if he had a second chance, he would do it all over again. His mind seemed to like wandering towards the red-eyed boy. His mind seemed to like reminding Haru that things couldn’t have happened differently, so, either way, he was fated to suffer in the end with the consequences of his choices.

Haru didn’t want it anymore. This obsession with the memory of a person, maybe caused by the fact that he never really managed to discover the real Rin Matsuoka. Until the end, he only had a glimpse of what lied inside that pained soul, and it was unsettling. The way they parted didn’t feel like an end at all.

He gave up on trying to find reason on his sea of emotions. Maybe one day, when he could think about Rin without feeling the ache in his heart, he would be able to figure out what he really felt for the boy.

Haru made his way back to where he left his friends, finding them exactly on the same bench, except this time, they weren’t alone.

He cautiously approached the group, only hearing Nagisa’s loud voice, indicating that the small blonde was happy with whoever were the three newcomers. When Haru finally made it to them, he realized the reason for the commotion.

The first person he noticed was a small smiling girl. She had a familiar tone of red hair and red eyes, her face was cute and reminded Haru of a person he was trying his best to forget. The girl was attached to the right arm of the second person, a guy. He was, for the lack of better words, huge. His muscles were intimidating, the same with his turquoise eyes, his short black hair complementing well his manly persona.

The two of them, however, became background as soon as Haru realized who was the third person.

Rin.

The same red hair, the same ruby eyes and the same pointy teeth. It all belonged to Rin.

“Hello, Haru. It’s been a long time…”

The voice, it was also exactly the same as he remembered. That voice he repeated so many times inside his head for the past six months, the voice that almost drove him insane.

Haru couldn’t say a word, nor could he stop staring at Rin wide eyed. His shocked expression wasn’t enough to represent the surprise he felt inside, or the feelings trying to resurface.

“Ahn… I don’t think you’ve met them. This is my little sister, Gou.” Rin said, pointing to the redhead girl, who smiled brightly and waved to Haru. “And this is my best friend and her boyfriend, Sousuke.” The big guy nodded his head as a greeting.

Haru was even more surprised after hearing that. For what he knew about Rin’s past –what Rin allowed him to know -, he had cut all ties with his friends and family. But now, there he was, smiling alongside his best friend and younger sister.

Maybe, just maybe, after they parted ways, Rin went after his happiness. Called his old friends, visited his mother’s home. Maybe Rin decided to start anew and be the person he never had the chance to be.

While Rin was talking and introducing his family, not once Haru diverged his eyes from the redhead’s face. He looked at Rin like the latter might vanish in thin air if he wasn’t careful enough.

Maybe Haru missed Rin a little more than he thought.

When Rin looked back at him, the blue eyed boy realized he wasn’t the only one.

The adoration on those ruby eyes, the way his breathing faltered slightly just by looking at Haru’s face. It was still the same Rin he knew six months ago. The same devotion, if not heightened by the longing.

Rin missed him too.

Haru just couldn’t figure out why he came back. All of a sudden, after all this time, simply reappearing in front of Haru, the boy he stalked and kidnapped out of love. Maybe he had a plan.

It didn’t take long for Haru to find out why Rin came back, the next words that left the redhead’s mouth gave it away.

“Would… you like to grab a cup of coffee?”

Rin seemed almost shy to ask, but Haru knew the intention behind his offer. He was trying to have a second chance.

“I don’t like coffee.” The words left Haru’s mouth before he could stop them, almost out of reflex.

The bright smile that appeared on Rin’s face, though, seemed to tell him that answer was expected. The redhead completed:

“Mackerel it is, then.”

That would be their very first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand that's it!  
> Hope you guys liked, really. This had been my first long fic ever and I was so insecure about it, but I'm glad some people enjoyed it. it has been a great pleasure to share this with you <3  
> Thank you so much for reading this far and supporting me, you're awesome haha o/  
> Kisses, bye bye. Until next time, hopefully ^^


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